Coming Out in Style

It had to happen. The January 20th inauguration of President Biden has spawned a celebrity outbreak.

Consider first Amanda Gorman, the young lady in sunshine yellow that read a time-sensitive poem. She owned the place. There may next be shows on TV where the contestants read poetry rather than dance and sing. Maybe they'll do all three.

Ms. Gorman's outfit outshone the sun, as did her words. I just finished painting an Adirondack chair I built for my daughter Susan. It's the 5th such chair I've built, and this one I painted the yellow she wanted. "Sunshine yellow" by Rust-O-Leum. The chair is awaiting pickup from my "customer" and is so bright it lights up the garage without the lights on. 

I think it was this week it was announced the Ms. Gorman was signed by a modeling agency Her future is so bright she is going to need dark glasses.

And now we hear of Ella Emhoff, the 21 year-old stepdaughter of Vice President Kamala Harris who has just signed a contract with a modeling agency. She was seen at the inauguration smarty dressed, wearing the required mask, but still attracting attention. She is called a style icon, or "influencer."

But just to show that all demographics can be represented by instant celebrity status—young black female, young white female, septuagenarian white male—we have the 79-year-old senator from Vermont, Bernie Sanders, who as a style icon has them all beat by a long downhill ski run.

It will be a while before the Internet generation ever forgets the image that became a viral sensation ahead of even Covid-19, of Bernie plopped in a folding chair, braced against the cold with a pair of mittens knitted by a Vermont school teacher, Jen Ellis, who becomes a celebrity herself.

But Bernie. Feel the Bern. The image spawned sweatshirts with his image, with the proceeds, now $2 million going to a Vermont Meals on Wheels charity.

Can a modeling gig for L.L.Bean be far behind? Even if L.L. is a Maine company it specializes in outdoor clothing, and Maine and Vermont are much alike. Mittens, ski jackets, shoes, all modeled after Bernie; all modeled by Bernie. Check next year's catalogs. It has to happen.

And for when Bernie might no longer be a U.S. Senator, there are other advertising opportunities. If Tip O'Neil, the then retired Speaker of the House from Massachusetts during the Reagan era can appear popping up out of a suitcase in a motel ad, then Bernie's opportunities are also endless.

Being a 79-year-old white make—perhaps in his 80s by the time the ads come out—makes him eligible to hawk all sorts of medicines, and other over-the-counter remedies. How about Metamucil? A seated Bernie looks like he might be having trouble in that department.  

And how about urinary problems? The pipes are never working well in old homes, so why should you expect them to work well in old men?

Leg pain, knee pain, shoulder pain, finger pain, butt pain, are all ailments that Bernie can pitch a remedy for. If they do another Mount Rushmore his image should be first on the left, since of course Bernie is Left.

Reverse mortgages and Medicare advantage plans are certainly within the grasp of Bernie turned into an advertising icon. Despite his left leanings, Bernie could counsel people deep in debt, in trouble with the IRS, or even online stock trading platforms in the hope that Game Stop is not just a one-off. Certainly a partner in a law firm specializing in skiing and snow-related accidents is where the Bernie masthead can appear.

There is no need to make America Great Again. We already are.

http://www.onofframp.blogspot.com