Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Up, Up and Away

By now. most people have absorbed the news that a 70-year-old civilian (albeit a Brit) has ascended into space and successfully returned to earth. I say most, because at dinner the other night my wife didn't know who the hell I was talking about when I mentioned Sir Richard Branson. Since FoxNews didn't cover his up and down trip into space, my wife hadn't heard of it. Oh well. I guess to be somewhat fair, it was on a Sunday.

Obviously, space travel is nowhere near what it was when a morning crowd of commuters stood in Grand Central Terminal and listened to Walter Cronkite and watch CBS on the Kodak monitor, as a successful launch was televised. It was us vs. the Russkies. Now it's dueling billionaires.

Sir Richard Branson, and maybe Jeff Bezos are on their way to making space travel something mere millionaires can afford. "Ladies and gentlemen, you can now unfasten your seat belts and float around the cabin."

Exciting times? Certainly for some. Sir Richard was metaphorically over the moon when he landed and talked to the press, and expressed joy that a "dyslexic" boy could achieve his dream. What dyslexia has to do with getting in the way of amassing a billion dollars is unknown, but people love to make you think they crawled out of a cave in loin cloth and became a rich CEO.

Never mind the critics that are calling for affordable housing rather than Branson spending millions on a space junket. Let the guy have some fun. We can live vicariously through his life. Powering away into space and experiencing weightlessness has got to be more exciting than planning on a construction site that provides toilets.

As for the weightlessness, an entire generation in the '60s experienced it at Yasgur's farm at the  Woodstock festival in Bethel, New York, when they sat in the mud and listened to music. Some have never come down since.

Rich people have been seeking alternative thrills and frills for years. Howard Hughes was trying to fly a wooden plane, the Spruce Goose. August Belmont built a rail spur so that his private train could get him to Belmont racetrack in style, and before the Daily Double closed. The railroad spur is still there, and in addition to ferrying a few hundred people to Belmont, will soon be ferrying happy Islanders fans to their new arena at Belmont. Thanks August.

Those who cynically remark that what good can come out of space travel for billionaires and millionaires are truly not seeing the BIG picture.

The Democrats now have a place they'd like to send Donald Trump to other than hell. At least a one-way trip. 

Organized crime has new ground to dispose of bodies. If you think Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa can be made to disappear on earth, imagine who they can make disappear in space. The mind boggles.

Jimmy Kumquat doesn't just have to be asked to take a car ride a car ride, he can get one to the airport, be strapped into a seat, and be convinced to take a space walk without a tether. What's he going to do, ask for his money back?

No, Sir Richard has opened a new frontier. And while my guess is while there were those who probably wished Sir Richard well, there will be those who don't wish the same success for Jeff Bezos of Amazon fame. My wife for one would like to see the bald-headed "creep" not come back, paying the price for dumping his wife for a Brazilian pool toy. Dumping your wife doesn't sit well with some women, even if the ex-wife's wealth now will likely exceed the split fortune of the Gates pair.

Kenneth Chang in yesterday's NYT discusses the doors that civilian space travel, however short, will open. It is believed scientists will use the flights to study how plants grow in zero gravity, with the prospect being growing food in space for the long-term crews at the space station. Sort of Whole Foods in space. Surely Gluten free.

And of course this is only the beginning of the plans. Flights to the International Space Station are expected. Prices on Virgin's vehicle and Bezos's Blue Origin vary a bit, somewhat like an Uber fare.

Apparently 600 people are in the queue at $200,000 a piece for the Virgin Galactic ride, while Jeff's taxi is begged at $250,000, but claiming to fly higher.  

And there are others. Space X, Space Adventure, and Axiom Space. If all these efforts succeed, then space is going to resemble the crowd at the top of Mount Everest; there will be a crowd waiting to get to the top and take a selfie.

Prices should tumble, and then merely the rich will be able to travel in space. Check your Pennysavers for coupons.

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