Andrew, a father of three daughters, shows his strong Italian upbringing when he rambles at one of his Covid news conferences about "the boyfriend." The hilarious take on his soliloquy by the comedian Maria DeCotis has long since gone viral, where Andrew explains that you have "to say you like the boyfriend" even if you don't.
As Maria lip-syncs the governor's advice to fathers about the boyfriend, she nails the Italian habit of cleaning their finger nails with a knife. My youngest daughter observed this in several Whitestone households when she visited her Italian classmates' homes.
The governor further explains that if you don't at least say you "like the boyfriend" you will otherwise experience NDS—natural defiance syndrome—in the daughter. They will like and defend the boyfriend, even if they don't, if you say you "don't like the boyfriend." It is a slippery slope, and you don't have to be an Italian male parent to experience the conflicting feelings toward a daughter's choice of companionship, however brief or long lasting it is. Poppa bears can act like momma bears too.
I think it was during an aside I saw on YouTube that Rodney Crowell told the audience that when he first starting dating Johnny Cash's daughter Rosanne, Johnny took him aside and bluntly told Rodney, "son, I don't even know you and I don't like you." You don't have to be Italian.
It's enough for the story to end with Governor Cuomo's "you have to say you like the boyfriend, even if you don't." But it doesn't end there.
Several weeks removed from the governor's famous news conference tangent, comes the news his daughter Cara's boyfriend, Dane Pfeiffer—a state trooper that was part of the governor's security detail, who according to the New York Post is a former tennis pro (albeit very briefly) with washboard abs—has now been assigned to a barracks in Plattsburgh, New York, a northern city in the state hard by the Canadian border, significantly far from the governor's Albany house. It has probably already snowed there.
Around the same time the governor appeared with Stephen Colbert via a Zoom call hookup and was asked toward the end of the interview about the boyfriend that "was living with you...is the boyfriend still the boyfriend?"
The governor, chuckling and obviously blushing, tells Stephen, "let's just say, the boyfriend is no longer with us, here." Colbert, not wanting to probe any further, just humorously suggests that they "should start dragging the lake."
The strong protective instincts of Italian parents gets a great portrayal in the movie "Love with the Proper Stranger," starring Natalie Wood and Steve McQueen. Natalie's character is strongly challenged in the carved wood dining room about any relationship with anyone.
Likewise, the singer Connie Francis would tell anyone who would listen, that growing up there were only two ways an Italian girl was going to leave the house—"in a wedding dress, or a coffin."
Aside from the display of the governor's assessment of the boyfriend in the original Covid news conference—the one made a great delight of by Maria DeCotis—is the mention of the Italian meal on Sunday, the dinner that is held around 2:00 P.M. and counts as the final meal of the day.
Governor Cuomo explains the Italian family tradition of eating Sunday dinner, and his preparation of the spaghetti and meatballs, that he admits the daughter and the boyfriend may not like— just twirling it around on their forks. But that's okay. The family is together for the meal.
As for myself, I'm not from an Italian household, but have witnessed one first hand when I was delivering flowers in the '60s from the family flower shop.
The delivery was to be made to someone in Little Italy, on Mulberry Street. They weren't home. Rather than bring the flowers back to the shop, the instructions were to always try and leave the flowers with a neighbor.
I rang the bell next door and was greeted by someone from the Fava family. They said sure, they'd hold the flowers, and then invited me in for the Sunday meal.
I was a bit taken by the offer, but I could plainly see a family sitting at the dining room table eating. The father may have been in the famous "wife beater t-shirt," the "Italian tuxedo" as my Italian-American manager once told me when I went once went into the story, or not. It doesn't mater. I was invited to eat with the family.
I politely turned it down, but was offered a "banana, or something" if I was interested before I left. I again politely turned the offer down, got them to sign for the flowers, and left. After all these years, I can still see the family and the dining room in my mind. Lots of carved wood.
So the governor reveals his public servant side, and his parental side, all at the same time. As the father of two daughters who are now quite grown and married, I somewhat relate to Andrew's fatherly authority.
But in my case, I never had to dial it up. My wife did it. And she's not from an Italian household, either. But she is from The Bronx, which is all you ever need to know.
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