Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Billions of Rubles

The most sought after actor to play a Russian who speaks English with a heavy Russian accent is easily John Malkovich. I wonder how many offers his agent gets.

The latest episode of Billions introduces the character Grigor Andolov, a Russian oligarch based in the United States who has a prison record. He is considered ruthless in eliminating, or scaring off the competition, and most of all he is extremely wealthy. And like all folks who are wealthy, he wants to be even wealthier.

Meet Bobby Axelrod, impresario of Axe Capital, fresh from having Federal stock manipulation charges against him dismissed, in what was a tug-of-war chess match with the enemy, the U.S. Attorneys for the Southern and Eastern Districts in New York. When you're as big and bad as Bobby, you attract attention. And when you're the star of the show, future episodes are not going to have you reading books in the can.

The oligarch is not a Russian bird. The mere mention of "Russian oligarch" conjures up images of Friends of Putin who operate businesses in Russia and other Eastern European locales with impunity. The OED tells us the word is derived from the Greek, oligo, meaning few, with oligarch meaning the head member of a small group that holds power in a State. Oligarchs are not elected.

We don't have oligarchs. But we do have Mark Zukerberg of Facebook and Tim Cook of Apple, plus the heads of all the major media networks. We just call them CEOs.

Fresh from his penthouse perch and free to trade with OPM—other people's money—our hero Bobby wants to establish a fund that starts off with $20 billion. And he wants to do it in 6 months. Bobby is always ambitious.

Axe needs an "Icebrekaer," the tile of episode that refers to the first investor with the confidence to deal with a charges-dismissed-felon. Bobby needs a whale. And he wants one quickly.

If you ever notice, Bobby spends a good deal of his time in the dark. He's a bit of a financial vampire. The episode's opening scene has Bobby and his #1 fixer, Hall (fixers never have more than one name) prowling a garage area where all the coffee carts and hot dog stands are stored during the night when they are not in use serving the masses on Manhattan's sidewalks.

Clearly Bobby and Hall (with Wags in the car) are in Astoria or Maspeth, in Queens, where carts go to sleep. They meet with someone who has had dealings with Grigor, and for whom they ended badly. A former oligarch himself (swimming pool in Russia), he lost his right arm and is now tending to a coffee cart, hoping to make it to hot dog vendor. Apparently, an Uber driver with one arm is not a good idea.

Why they are doing their due diligence with a one-armed coffee cart vendor in the shank of the night is just another example of how Bobby thinks outside the box. He doesn't hire some white shoe firm to create a report on Grigor Andolov and charge him beaucoup bucks for it. Bobby goes to the best sources in person and rewards them with enough cash to move up to hot dog cart.

There is a back-and-forth courtship between Grigor and Bobby. Once it is filled with enough "fuck yous" the two men develop enough respect for each other that a business deal is struck to have Grigor invest.

The casting for the little guy playing the Secretary of the Treasury, (who seems to spend a good deal of his time in NYC) doesn't seem right. But Bobby's connected, and he secures Grigor's business by showing off his connection in a restaurant's storage room. The Secretary of the Treasury is dirty too, not a confidence builder for the nation if it was widely known.

Grigor's words to Bobby are simple. "Don't lose my money." Bobby doesn't blink. It was rumored that Bernie Madoff struck a deal with the Feds so fast because he wanted the protection of jail from the Russian oligarch's whose money he lost. Perhaps.

All through the episode I kept wondering who is this guy playing Grigor? (The credits come at the end.) Jesus, he seems familiar. Is this Teddy KGB from The Rounders after all these years, shedding his dirty sweater and boxes of Oreos?

That movie was in 1998 and Malkovich was sensational as the thickly accented poker honcho who runs a very high stakes game in a grimy building, filled with stoned out hookers and bad TV reception. Matt Damon prevails against Teddy KGB, gets his friend Worm out of debt, and makes enough of a grubstake for himself that allows him to go to Vegas for a poker tournament.

KGB is so apoplectic on losing to Matt Damon's checking and bluffing that he allows him safe passage past the Oreos thrown against the wall and the goon who would only too happily beat him up. Teddy retreats to a TV in the back to watch a soccer match that's coming in with poor reception.

Tangential stories are how Dollar Bill got his name. It seems he had a dollar bill with a golden serial number with enough like numbers that he apparently took Carl Icahn down in Liar's Poker.

Taylor is against Axe Capital accepting Grigor's money to invest and starts his own rogue group of traders, quants, in the cellar somewhere in his attempt take the market down for himself.

Chuck and Kate are sandbagged to prosecute someone they think should not be prosecuted. and when the defendant is killed by Federal guards on the way to his court appearance, Chuck and Kate are prepared to get the goods on "The General," the U.S. Attorney General, who also seems to spend too much time in New York.

The General is portrayed as a somewhat pot bellied, bourbon swilling Texan, who of course hunts on his ranch in Texas, and who gets his own way. Until maybe now.

Coming attractions show Grigor in the next episode. Will Bobby get the best of Grigor and have him slink back to Russia with caviar between his legs and too much vodka on his lips? Will he make money for Grigor and stay out of court at the same time?

It's not going to go well for someone, that's for sure.

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