Frances lived to be 101, and passed away last year in a Newberg, Oregon nursing home. It is only now that her passing has received the Gold Standard treatment that will enshrine her forever in the hearts of those who read obituaries. Frances is survived by grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren. That's about as far down the ancestral tree I've ever read anyone going who has passed away.
I'm not going to steal any of Ms. Fox's text and pretend it is my own, only to recommend that you follow the link and immerse yourself in the peculiarities of Frances.
I will say this, the picture of Frances standing in her kitchen under an umbrella while the house washes itself is priceless. If anyone has a memory of the mob boss Vincent 'The Chin' Gigante, they will remember that for years he portrayed himself as crazy, and therefore unprosecutable, as he walked outside and in his home in Greenwich Village, in his bathrobe, always under an umbrella. He even took the umbrella into the shower with him. A man who takes a shower under an umbrella has got to be nuts, right? The tabloids nicknamed him 'The Oddfellow.' That we know, he never met Frances. Surprise, Gigante's behavior proved to be an act, and 'Vinny the Chin' was eventually tried, convicted and died in prison.
Frances of course was no mobster. She held patents, was married, had kids. She was a bit peculiar, but quite handy, as she and her husband had a business of fixing things. She apparently started thinking about a self-cleaning house when her kids would get fig jam on her walls. She hated housecleaning.
I have no idea if any of her patents, which apparently lapsed, ever went into the technology that was described that kept a freestanding pay toilet outside a corner of NYC's Madison Square Park, clean after every patron's use.
The toilet was described as spraying its walls down and disinfecting all the surfaces. I have no idea if the toilet is still there, or if it works. I do know I almost had a need to use it once, but was able to get myself to work nearby without anything embarrassing happening.
And while we're on the tangent of self-cleaning bathrooms, have you every been in one that shoots paper out of dispenser and covers the toilet seat after each use? I have, the Second Avenue Deli on 33rd Street. It almost frightens you.
One of Frances's apparent habits that kept the neighbors from ever ringing her bell to shoot the breeze, was to do her yard work in the nude. Nothing like trying to talk to a nude woman who is holding a rake.
Ever hear of hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Ms. Fox reminds us that Frances, "born of figs and fury," created a house that cleaned itself.
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