Of All The Useless Things

I am not a Luddite by any measure. But I really do wonder what value there is in a refrigerator..."The new Family Hub refrigerator, that has built-in cameras that take a photo every time the doors close, so you always know what you have and what you're missing."

I've been seeing a full page ad for this latest in gadgetry for weeks now in the WSJ and the NYT. And one can only guess at what one of those full pages cost. Alongside the copy is a hand holding a SmartPhone, a Samsung Smartphone to be precise, that is showing six images from inside a Samsung refrigerator. My guess is the multiple cameras are aimed at different shelves and levels of your refrigerator.

Quite honestly, if what the cameras are showing you is all you have in the refrigerator, then you don't have much.

There's a beautiful pink icing layer cake, some eggs, and what looks like three long neck beer bottles, or perhaps wine bottles that you can't see the level of, some fruit along with a wedge of watermelon, a basket of strawberries, and some other healthy looking stuff that I can't really identify. Alert readers, anyone?

Of course what the food-selfie photo-op doesn't show is what's crammed in your freezer; or, what's wrapped up in tin foil that might be edible if enough ketchup is poured on it (my personal favorite). Not knowing what quantity of these foods there might be is really what's of value. How much ice cream is left in that carton? Is there one more mac and cheese to pop in the microwave? Is that an onion wrapped in foil, and how old is it? When I peel the foil back will I find something growing on the onion; will it be firm, or will it be mushy and unusable? (Picky, huh?)

Aside from the clock on the refrigerator door and the outside weather and temperature, there looks to be a time stamp that tells you when the latest photo was snapped by the fridge-cams. Someone like Jeffrey Dahmer might find this useful if he feels he needs to commit another atrocity to store in his refrigerator, if while out on the town he feels the need for fresher food before hitting the hay for the evening. One hates surprises once they're home.

Can you image one of those TV private eyes, or TV detectives, leaving the scene of late night carnage and wondering if they have enough leftover  pizza in the box from Mario's? Is their SmartPhone going to tell them how many cold slices are left in that box with the half open lid? Beer, or wine bottles, you'll probably know, so I guess there might be some value in this innovation.

But not for all of us.

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