Hello Dolly. She's back where she belongs, or should I say, where I think it would be best if she stayed: reporting on fashion.
Today's NYT 'Thursday Styles section shows us where Ms. Dowd has been these past weeks...days? She's filed a gargantuan piece on page one of the section, with large color photos of an interview with Andre Leon Talley, a.k.a. Monsieur Vogue to those who can admit to flipping through that magazine's pages while in a doctor's waiting room, or actually getting the magazine delivered and using it for a doorstopper.
My daughter was once getting a subscription to 'Vogue' and when it hit the bottom of the metal mailbox is left a dent. I'd like to see an edition of that dropped onto the roadbed of a Chevy truck rather than that tool box and see how the steel takes it.
The piece is titled 'Monsieur Vogue is Leaving Trumpland.' Whether this is as significant as Elvis leaving the building I will let the reader decide, especially since it is possible after all the years since 1977 that someone might actually have to look up who Elvis was.
Trump and fashion is perfect intersection for Ms. Dowd. She gets to let us consider a world where the new first lady, Melania Trump, who is already listed as 5'11" (I'll assume barefoot), can negotiate a staircase in 4" stiletto heels.
Mr. Talley, who is himself listed as 6' 6" is seen standing outside by some trees on the diet center grounds wrapped in a fur coat, that to me, the thoroughly uninitiated, looks like something that Leonardo DiCaprio had to keep hauling around while making the move 'The Revenant.' I just finished watching that movie and am thankful Mr. Talley is not seen shedding his coat and sleeping in the eviscerated body cavity of a dead horse.
Ms. Dowd plays coy, as if she has no knowledge of fashion, when she tells us that Mr. Talley is well aware of her fashion ignorance, and feels compelled to tell her his coat is a "Norma Kamali sleeping bag coat." All I can tell you is that I'm happy there aren't too many people on the subway wearing that coat this winter. It is bad enough the MTA has scooped out bench seats to each long section that are geared to nicely accommodate 8 naked, dry, anorexic Asian women, but not westerners wearing clothing, let alone winter clothing. Thus, only 7 people can reasonable fit in those 8 seats in any season. Manspreaders, or not.
I say coyly, because Ms. Dowd in a cute Q&A with Mr. Talley asks him a series of questions ideally suited to the 'Styles' page, but that also perhaps reveal the inner style-horse Ms. Dowd might really be, when she asks Mr. Talley if it is "O.K. to wear a bandeau maillot to the office."
I'll admit that the article is probably not meant for a guy to read, but the chance to read Maureen Dowd, no matter what the topic is, is too good a draw to discourage me, even though there is a 6' 6" black guy featured in a fur coat in a forest who doesn't play for the Giants.
So, what is a "bandeau maillot?" Is it a pussy bow blouse like what Melania appeared in the day after The Donald was called out on, for years ago uttering 'boy talk' about grabbing women by their private parts?
First, Mr. Talley's answer to the "bandeau maillot" office question: "Confirm." That is a yes.
And, was I right about what a "bandeau maillot" is? Absolutely not. The OED tells me it is: "a narrow brassiere: a woman's strapless top formed by s band of fabric fitting around the bust."
Maureen, you saucy thing you. What floor are you on?
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