Naked Men Up Ahead

New York City is a very contradictory place. Recent efforts have been strenuous to try and eliminate as many vehicles from the city as possible. But while they try and cut down on autos, the city thinks nothing of putting naked men in your path.

They are statues, of course, so art is involved. And when art is involved, it is always in the eye of the beholder. And when they cement the naked men statues to the sidewalk, it's hard for the eye not to behold.

New York is an artsy town. We know this. The latest outside manifestation of that is to ring the Madison Square Park area with full-size statues of naked men that all supposedly resemble the artist, Antony Gormley. I suppose in some circles this is reason enough to exult.

Some of the statues are placed high up on buildings that face the park. This has led to speculation that people would start calling en masse that there are potential suicides on every ledge. The preposterousness of this is evident when it is realized that New Yorkers do not look up. The last time I ever saw a body of New Yorkers look up was when two 767s aimed themselves at the World Trade Center on 9/11 and made solid contact.

And if New Yorkers do look out of their windows and straight ahead and think someone is going to jump they would likely do little to intercede. It might mean a better apartment will soon be available and they know exactly where to start making inquiries.

I work in the Madison Square Park area and have been coming in and out of Manhattan nearly every day of my life since I was 11. I’ve lived there for a spell. I’m over 60. Tree houses in the trees, objects on the lawn, all seem okay. But I don’t see why I need to go from one block to another by way of a urologist’s office without making an appointment.

You see, the statues offer full frontal nudity. The artist is either very proud of himself, or exaggerates. Aside from being on building ledges (and some ledges and rooftops are VERY high up) the statues can be found freshly cemented to the sidewalk.

Now in New York, cement has no more permanence than a Post-It note. The exhibit of exhibitionism is not running that long. By the time any momentum of discontent takes shape the statues will have been jackhammered up and taken away.

You do wonder about what the city allows. But you always wonder about that. If these figures had a pulse and protoplasm and were showing off their rears and cast-iron ding dongs as they are the police would zap them with stun guns and arrest them as sex-offenders.

And what about kids going to the park playground who might be strollered past a set of goodies at their eye-level? Well, I guess the museum argument prevails. Of course the kids aren't being taken to a museum, they're passing by one on their way to the slide. Where else can you achieve such efficiency?

Even the Naked Cowboy in Times Square is not naked.

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