Unsolved Mysteries

There are people of a certain demographic group that still wonder who Carly Simon's song 'You're So Vain' is about. Up until a few years ago I classified it as one of the three things that were part of the greatest mysteries in life. The first, and still the first: is there life on other planets? Next, who is Deep Throat? And third, who is Carly singing about?

I completely lost interest in Carly's inspiration a few years ago. Mark Felt, once the No. 2 man in command at the FBI, revealed himself to be Deep Throat, then passed away soon after. He was in his 90s at that point.

Aside from the first mystery, the other two had been around so long that there were huge clumps of the population that knew nothing about them. Carly who? Deep Throat? Who was Richard Nixon?

I was reminded of some of this when I recently saw something that said Carly would tell one person who the song was written about. This announcement coincided with the release of her latest album, so, need we say more? Publicity. It's been said she really needs the money.

There's a series of entries on a Web page that chronicle what Carly has said about the song. In 2005, for a USA interview, she even joked that the song was about Mark Felt! That would have been a mystery answering a mystery. There must be word for that.

I always appreciate outside-the-box thinking, so when I read Marilyn Johnson's Dead Beat a few years ago I was surprised to read that Ms. Johnson offered that Carly wrote the song about William Donaldson, a "dissipated eccentric" who ran through several fortunes and enjoyed as many women and controlled substances as possible. He needed video replays to prove to himself he had a good time. I remember reading his obituary and he reminded me of another playboy, Jorge Guinle, whose lifespan outlasted his fortune by several decades. He died fairly poor, but he could at least recall his conquests.

William Donaldson is never mentioned amongst Carly's usual suspects. Ms. Johnson doesn't offer anything more that her speculation, but what a lovely speculation it is. Soon after reading that theory I shared it in the elevator where I sometimes try and do my best work. Some Starbucks toting youngster thought Carly had written about James Taylor.

Silly girl.

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