Saturday and Sunday Soccer

If I've learned anything about my new found viewing habit of tunning into Saturday and Sunday morning Premier League soccer (football) games on the USA Network, it is that Leicester City is pronounced Less-ter City. Up until now, when I've seen the spelling Leicester I've pronounced it as lies-ter., rhyming with shyster. If you don't learn something everyday you're not paying attention.

I used to be dismissive of my son-in-law Tim's obsession with watching soccer. It struck me as an abandonment of all things American. I've long since changed my mind.

The soccer games are preceded by Premier League Mornings hosted by Rebecca Lowe, a no-nonsense, rapid talking anchor and the "two Robbies," Robbie Earle, Robbie Mustoe, with Tim Howard.

Rebecca is not a panda-eyed, fur coat wearing sideline reporter like Erin Andrews who, wearing what looked like a bear costume this weekend before the Fox network telecast of the Philadelphia Eagles and Washington Commanders football playoff game, had just climbed out of an animal cavity with Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie The Revenant, telling us who is in the medical tent with a taped pinkie. Erin was lucky she wasn't mistaken for wild game. If she dropped something and was on all fours trying to pick it up she might have been shot. No, Rebecca reports meaningful commentary.

Watching Premier League games we get all those lovely British  words that standout, like "top of the table," meaning leading in the standings. We hear of "relegation" an assignment to a lower division for clubs that don't win enough. The NFL should have that for the New York Jets. 

We have to get used to how points are awarded in the standings; one point for a tie, three for a win. And the home team is designated first in the matchup, not second.

I pretty much don't know where the cities are located for clubs playing in the Premier League. It is easy when City follows the name, not so obvious when the team is Bournemouth, Nottingham Forest, or my favorite, Brighton & Hove Albion, which is not a firm of personal injury lawyers (solicitors/barristers).

A soccer field, or pitch, is typically 115 yards long and 75 yards wide. The goal is a whopping 24' long and 8' feet high. Even with all those players on the field you would think there'd be more scoring, but no. The defense plays tough, and goaltenders actually make saves, acrobatic, really, unlike in lacrosse where every shot at a tiny net seems to find its way in. There can be 0-0 games; nil, nil. It's no wonder the fans go nuts when someone scores.

Scoring is generally low. I saw a recent game where Bournemouth won by 5-nil, but 5 goals is rare, even against a struggling club.

The game is played in 45 minute halves. Time is not called when there is a stoppage of play when someone is writhing in pain from a foul, genuine or not. Acting is part of the game.

There is "added time" to compensate for the stoppages. This is determined by sideline timekeepers, and is not announced until near the end of the half. Exploding scoreboards displaying all kinds of statistics are not needed. Generally, games take two hours total to finish. You can make reliable plans for after the game.

I found I like the game because it resembles hockey. The players try and cue the ball up like on a power play and create a shot on goal. The skill of the players dribbling a soccer ball is immense. The ball seems attached to their feet like a puck is to a stick. They seem to be magically able to keep the ball inbounds, skirting the end line like a windup car I had as a kid that would travel over a flat surface toward the edge as if it were going to go over the edge, but would then abruptly stop and turn around and not go over. A soccer player changes direction like how Bobby Orr did.

And the kicking is fierce. They can make that ball rocket like a slap shot from either foot. And the goaltenders! They can kick that soccer ball seemingly the length of the field to get the ball out of their end. It is no wonder that American place-kickers long ago started using the soccer-style kicking with the side of their foot.

The Gogolak brothers from Hungary were the first NFL soccer-style place-kickers. Pete played for the Buffalo Bills and the New York Giants in the '60s, and younger brother Charlie played for Washington and the New England Patriots. 

I always get a kick out how the coaching staffs are on the sidelines, seated in high back, Top Gun-like briefing room chairs, all dressed in black. I asked my son-in-law why are they always in black, and he replied because they're expecting to go to a funeral, their own, since soccer coaches get replaced  as quickly as diapers. Players change clubs, and coaches change clubs even more.

I have to say I don't really know the players very well except for Erling Haaland, a Norwegian player for Manchester City who just signed a 10-year multi-million dollar contract with Manchester City. To me, he is the most recognizable and my favorite. Aaron Judge. He crushes the ball into the net. He is nearly 200 pounds of lightning protoplasm, sports a man bun, and looks like he's 40 when he's only 24.

Young stars in soccer are common. There are teenagers who are signed with Premier League clubs. It's hard to imagine how good you have to be to be a teenager playing at that level. The mind boggles.

But best of all this is when the games are on, generally on the USA network sometimes as early as 7:30 A.M. our time, usually no later than 10 A.M. The time difference with England works in my viewing favor.

That means there is first-class sports on TV early in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays, at least until my wife wakes up, enters the kitchen and presses the mute button. Here comes the Mute Button. 

I just then go in the living room.

http://www.onofframp.blogspot.com