And watching these streaming services, many with English subtitles from countries like Norway, France and Germany, you realize every country has a police procedural series.
I've gotten so used to watching shows with subtitles that I go Close Captioned even with regular TV. It helps when the pronunciation isn't always so clear. I steer away from anything dubbed. The words and mouth can't be synchronized seemlessly, and it looks funny.
One of the streaming outlets I've latched onto is Mhz, which I guess is MegaHerz. They seem to favor French police procedurals, and the one I like the most is Murder In... A stunning locale in a French province follows the In. There are something like 13 seasons of it, so it will be awhile until I run the table.
The series has been a French favorite since the mid 2000s. The plots are very procedural, but the scenery is stunning and makes you want to tour the French provinces and eat. Especially eat and drink wine and sit in outdoor bistros and watch the world go by in cobblestone town squares surround by stucco pastel buildings with tiled roofs and narrow streets. The French tourism board must have a hand in the production.
And the settings! Who knew France had so many tiny islands holding so much beauty? Take a recent episode set in the Porquerolles Islands off the coast of Marseille. The main island is a postcard of 200 people living in luxury surrounded by beaches, blue water and boats (bateaus). Lots of boats The weather is so perfect the male cops wear shorts.
All the episodes in the series are about 1½ hours long, just enough time to develop the family backstories, give you a few red herrings, then move in for the denouement, often played back as a flashback so you see what really happened.
Through subtitles I now know how to say "shit" in French, "merde," uttered by male and female cops, as is "fuck," "putain". It's like taking a Berlitz course in languages.
The plots have a core similarity. There is a murder (no kidding) and body is found right away. No sooner have the credits finished than the Gendarmerie are racing to the scene, securing the perimeter, putting up yellow tape and taking photos.
Generally, there is only one corpse in the episodes. Maybe two, tops. Nothing like the wholesale slaughter that goes in the British Midsomer Murders series where a new census is need to count who's left in the thatched roof village.
The male and female leads who are thrust into solving the crime are wary of each other and invariable let little out about their past at the outset. They generally tell us it's complicated, comp-le-kay.
The pathologist (there is always a pathologist) on the scene who tells us the victim was strangled (there are marks on their neck and petechial hemorrhage—you learn a lot by watching these shows.), or it was "blunt force trauma." Sometimes the victim was shot, but this not being the States, guns are not often even seen in the plots. (All the French police do however carry weapons on their hip) An estimate on time of death is offered by the pathologist. Cell phone, wallets and id are searched for. Not always found. DNA will of course be taken. There is no show without DNA. Drs. Crick and Watson have contributed mightily to crime plots.
The Gendarmerie who shows up and promptly puts the police armband on is generally from a province nearby, from a larger city. They are on loan to help the local force. They are not always welcome, but they eventually achieve cooperation grudgingly.
White coated forensic team members descend, and then the guest investigator makes their way out of the car and needs to know, "what have you got?" (In French, of course.) Generally the investigator is known to someone on the local force from having worked with them decades ago. "You came back!"
Like any country's police procedurals, woman can be in charge, and can be the highest rank. What usually ensues is a male/female matchup, sometimes with simmering sexual tension. There isn't much sex in these episodes. It is generally quickly implied that a pair are doing it, but there is little to no nudity.
Coffee, or café, is as much a part of the episodes as the actors. A paper cup demitasse always emerges from the police vending machine. No Grande Starbucks for these folks.
Watch enough of these episodes and of course you start to recognize familiar actors. Florence Pernel will usually show up as the prosecutor, or examining judge who gets assigned to the case directing the police investigation. France does things a little differently in this regard.
Also showing up with some regularity is Phillippe Bas, a solid looking hunk with steel-grey hair and a close cropped beard who will appear in at least one scene with his shirt off. Beefcake ladies.
One thing these episodes portray other than the usual back stories of divorce, and family estrangements is that family members work under the command of other family members. How realistic this is not known. In one episode, a young female officer accidently shot her mother, the commander, during the investigation of a burglary, putting Mom in a wheelchair and early retirement. She feels guilty, of course, and lives with her to take care of her. Until of course when she doesn't.
Sons seem to run into their fathers. It's almost like in Indiana Jones, with Sean Connery teaming up with Harrison Ford.
There are family dinners where the good wine (Not cheap plonk!) is poured and someone makes their specialty. You can get hungry and thirsty watching crime being solved.
One plot device is the unknown offspring seeking revenge. And oftentimes it is a woman who is the killer.
I'll guess the director uses drones to get the overhead shots of these lovely tiled roof settings that hold so much lurid crime. Bodies are found buried underneath churches. We get a history lesson on local legends and superstitions.
The killer is of course always found and the parties that were estranged make up. The pair that you figure were going to get together after hopping on top of each other in the police car do go further in life. They generally do leave together in a vehicle, even if one of them is divorced with a kid. Happy families.
Watch this series and you don't have to take your shoes off at the airport and you can sleep in your own bed. You will have to do your own cooking and pour your own wine though.
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