Builds Strong Bodies

It is no secret that there seems to always be something that reminds me of something else. In fact, I have this fantasy that I'm lying somewhere, on my death bed, and I tell whomever is there to listen, what the exact final moments remind me of. Of course I slip away before I can fully say what the experience I'm having reminds me of. It is my Rosebud moment. My enigmatic passing.

But, since I don't seem to be anywhere near those final moments, readers of these posting get to read what something reminds me of.

I try to read my way through two newspapers a day, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. Even when I don't succeed I hold onto the papers for a while and try and catch up with enough sustained reading that gets me through the pages before Wynken, Blyken and Nod takes over and the papers fall to the floor.

I prefer the book reviews in the WSJ over The Times because they don't review many novels. I'm not one for novels. Thus, since I'm nearly current, I read Wednesday's WSJ review 'The National Palate, American Cuisine' by Paul Freedman.

It must be a bit of a doorstopper because it weighs in at 451 pages and lists for $39.95. It is not a cookbook, but rather a historical narrative of food in America, our early eating habits, and now our fast food, prepared food addictions.

The review does recount how the book touches on the '50s and '60s when Madison Avenue was making all kinds of claims for us to believe. Kellogg's Sugar Pops were "sweeter and the taste is new, they're shot with sugar through and through." Rhymes were big. So was sugar.

Wonder Bread helped "build strong bodies eight ways," until the '60s when "four more ways were discovered." Yes, Wonder Bread did tells us there were now 12 ways to held build strong bodies. "Helps build strong bodies 12 ways." More is always better. Still is.

Jesus, I remember the wrappers on Wonder Bread at the grocer across the street from the house. There was a big 8 displayed at each end. Then of course the advertising ratcheted it up to 12 ways.

But that isn't what I remember most about the bread or the ads. I remember the new ads for Wonder Bread proclaiming its benefits with the now trumpeted 12 ways. The ads and jingle were now an earworm.

Then why when I went to the grocer across the street do I remember seeing the bread with a wrapper that had an 8 at each end, rather than a 12?

The bread was fresh. It wasn't stale. But it was bread that was labeled to only help build stronger bodies 8 ways! What happened?

I never asked. There were no exposés on TV or in the newspapers that Wonder Bread had slipped and was now engaging in false advertising. But there it was. Fresh bread that had gotten demoted.

Having now moved past my own Wonder Years, I can think of an easy explanation. They used the old wrappers on the fresh bread. Sort of like screwing up the air mail stamp and producing the Inverted Jenny. They must have had a supply of them to get rid of, or someone reached into the wrong bin setting the machines up, and viola, 8 Ways on 12 Ways bread.

Talk about cynicism. Even the bread was lying to us.

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