Credit Cards

Is there anyone in the United States—perhaps the world—whose credit card has not been compromised by identity theft?

The latest compromise of my credit card manifested itself when a soft-wrapped bundle was plopped into the vestibule last night by the UPS driver. Since The Maltese Falcon has just been on 'Turner Classics' earlier in the week, I naturally thought I was now in possession of the bird. I got worried.

When something comes in my name I play a memory game and try and remember what I ordered. I always keep track of my online purchases, as much to track the delivery as well as cross-check the item against my credit card statement when it comes.

Nothing came to mind that I could have ordered from FashionNova.com, a Vernon, California company. Opening the package revealed men's jeans, men's skinny jeans, some of which looked already frayed at the knees. Boy, they got the wrong guy.

I waited for my wife to get in from work before taking further action. Did she, or my daughter, order something and somehow just use my name for shipping purposes? No.

My wife advised me to check my credit card. I did. I found the transaction that generated the skinny jeans delivery, plus found four other transactions that I didn't make. I guess whomever was responsible for those transactions at least got the addressee to their liking on those shipments. I didn't receive anything from Kenneth Cole.

Calling the credit card company (who didn't flag the multiple online purchases) has become so routine that I feel like a suspect who often gets arrested by the police. I know the drill.

Of course they'll back out the transactions; they'll send me a new credit card via overnight express mail, graciously waiving the $6 fee for overnight delivery. Gee, I feel like a VIP.

My email to the people who sent me the skinny jeans has not yet been answered. There is no phone number. Being a California company and the EST/PST time difference, it is [possible they are not yet open to review their emails. We'll see. They should be glad I'll send the jeans back as long as they generate a prepaid shipping label.

One of my tag lines for the blog is that we live on a Mobius strip. I should add to that we are sieves, leaking out all kinds of information whether we want to or not. We emit radioactivity for others to capture.

We are our own  Kryptonite.

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