The story wouldn't have had nearly the gravitas for United Airlines if they hadn't recently called the cops on a passenger they wanted removed because of over-booking, creating a scene out of a Jerry Springer show, and subsequently dragging the poor fellow down the aisle like a harpooned tuna. I think they even heard about that one at the Space Station.
The rabbit that didn't make it alive from Heathrow to O'Hare (I'm still laughing) was not just an Easter bunny pet of a child, but an example of a breed of rabbit, the Continental Giant rabbit, named Simon, He measured three-feet in length, and might possibly be descended from the rabbit that attacked President Carter's fishing boat years ago. No mention was made of that possibility, however.
Apparently, Simon was pronounced "fit as a fiddle" by a veterinarian just three hours prior to being placed in the cargo hold of the flight. You gotta love that too. A rabbit who is "fit as a fiddle" who is bigger than a cello.
Simon, the dead rabbit, was only 10 months old, and was expected to grow even bigger than his father Darius, the world's biggest, who grew to be 4 feet 4 inches. Darius I, the person, apparently was the third king of the Persian Achaemenid Empire. So, Simon was descended from royalty. I never knew they purposely bred rabbits, like dogs and horses.
I've never been to a dog track, but they use a mechanical bunny that comes around on the rail and is timed to appear in front of the starting gate where the dogs spring from to run their race. The announcer tells the crowd, "Here's comes the bunny." It is doubtful they use a rabbit as big as Simon, or Darius, though.
The Continental Giant is Flemish breed of rabbit, said to be "a fantastic house rabbit," but apparently one that should be kept away from anything important in the house, because they will "chew to bits cables, wires, shoes paper, and anything important." That last warning sounds like legal boiler plate that comes from the breeder to protect themselves from lawsuits when your house bound Continental Giant rabbit turns everything in sight into rabbit food. Of course, these are just common sense warnings. You don't have to have the rabbit in your house. In fact, of course, you don't have to have a rabbit, period. But some people do.
Just the other Saturday TMC had the film version of 'Harvey' on. Anyone who knows anything about this Jimmy Stewart classic knows it is a story about a gentle, eccentric man who believes he is always accompanied by a rabbit named Harvey. Harvey is never seen, but his presence is always felt. 'Harvey' was first a play on Broadway, and somewhere in this house I have what passed for a 1940s 'Playbill' my parents brought home after seeing the show. This was after the war, but before I was born.
Now Jimmy Stewart was fairly tall, but Harvey was even taller, coming in at 6 feet 3 1/2 inches in his bare feet, as his tippling character Elwood P. Dowd keeps reminding us. Jimmy is always looking up to Harvey.
Simon's pop Darius was 4 feet 4 inches, and Simon, if he had survived the flight from Heathrow to O'Hare (you gotta keep laughing at that), would have grown even been bigger. Simon could have had Danny DeVito looking up to him in a revival of the play and film.
The missed opportunities.
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