I would not get to turn to an Opinion page and see Bruce Weber's take on a movie Shirley MacLaine stars in, 'The Last Word.'
I do however check the Obituary section online, and because the editors thoughtfully put Bruce's Sunday piece in the obituaries section, I did get to read his take on Shirley's movie.
It's not a movie review per se, but rather a reply to Shirley and the character she plays in the movie, a woman who is shopping for someone to write a favorable obituary about her when she dies. Say nice things.
Anyone who knows anything about Shirley MacLaine knows she believes in reincarnation. Mr. Weber points this out in his piece, and alerts us to the irony of Shirley playing a character who believes the end is really the end.
It was quite a few years ago, but probably coincided with a book by Ms. Maclaine on reincarnation that she was hawking that I distinctly remember Don Imus rendering a comment about Shirley. In Don's rumbling baritone he intones that he knows what Shirley needs. "Shirley needs a truck driver." There is nothing that is off limits when you are a celebrity.
Aside from being the title of the movie, 'The Last Word' is also the title of a book that comprises a collection of New York Times obituaries. It is almost a common description of the art of obituary writing, the art that Mr. Weber feels compelled to discuss and set the record straight aside from any movie--or Shirley-preconceptions. He has always taken his craft seriously.
Mr. Weber, in his open opinion of Shirley's character in the movie, questions why a woman of Ms. MacLaine's background and achievements would take such a part, and why do they get so much wrong about how an obituary writer goes about their task. Mr. Weber admits to having written an advance of Ms. MacLaine's obituary that will appear, updated, when needed. Advance writing of obituaries is common for well-known people who might be approaching the end of life as we know it.
There is a 2016 documentary movie, 'Obit.' that is making the rounds of film festivals worldwide and that will this summer be in local art house theaters. The film, produced and directed by Vanessa Gould, is a behind the scenes look at the obituary desk at the New York Times, how they approach the task of putting together someone's life story, sometimes on deadline, that provides the reader with a historical capsule, almost a short story, of their life. I haven't seen the film, but have seen an out-take that tracks Mr. Weber on the phone, getting details from family and friends on someone who has just passed away. He is listed as a star in the movie.
Mr. Weber takes Shirley to woodshed a bit about her role in the movie. It has obviously grazed a nerve of his. Ms. MacLaine's motives for appearing in the movie are questioned. While the movie was surely completed before the recent Oscar ceremonies, it is possible that Shirley is hedging her reincarnation bets, and just in case the end really is the end, then she would like someone to create nice words about her.
And that is probably not a bad idea, considering her blind-as-bat brother Warren Beatty, who couldn't tell he'd been handed the wrong envelope for the Best Picture, the ultimate award of the Academy, and who had a hand in announcing the wrong movie as the winner last month and creating a memorable moment in Oscar history.
As anyone who has a pulse by now knows, Warren stared at the envelope's contents, paused, demurred, and handed it off to his 'Bonnie and Clyde' equally blind-as-a bat co-star, Faye
Dunaway--blindness no doubt caused by the fact that neither she or Warren were looking in a mirror--who just glanced at the movie title and announced 'La La Land' as the winner, when in fact Pricewaterhousecoopers flubbed the hand off and gave Warren the Best Actress award envelope, which was Emma Stone, for 'La La Land.' Best picture actually went to 'Moonlight' when the stage bedlam was sorted.
Warren Beatty is now 79, and his sister Shirley is 82. Mr. Weber tells us now he's going to have to update Shirley's obituary to include this poorly thought of movie. Warren Beatty's obit, whoever has written it, will have to be updated to include his contribution to the Oscar flub.
Pricewaterhousecoopers will no doubt increase the font size on the award cards by several points to the equivalent of VERY LARGE type, hopefully to ward off another catastrophe.
I've met Mr. Weber, although I suspect he would not remember it. It was at a book launch for something his colleague, Margalit Fox wrote about translating some ancient text, 'The Riddle of the Labyrinth.'
Mr. Weber is an affable man, who I suspect is not prone to violence. He is not a small man either, so if confronted, my guess is he could at least give a basic defense of himself.
Shirley on the other hand gives you the impression she could turn into a Rhonda Rousey, a mixed martial arts competitor fighting a UFC match in the Octagon. Mr. Weber's Twitter site shows his dust jacket photo from his fairly recent book, 'Life is a Wheel: Memoirs of Bike Riding Obituarist.' In the photo, Mr. Weber is wearing a cyclist's helmet. If Shirley comes after him, he might need it.
With the advantage of a hard copy 'Bartlett's Familiar Quotations' book I was able to get the exact wordng to what I was thinking, something from William Congreve, who so accurately wrote in one of his plays, 'The Mourning Bride:' (For the true scholars among you, take in Aristophanes and Nietzche. There seems to be eons of agreement.)
- Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
Could add a former obituary writer to that.
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