Dinner Parties

The benefits of reading obituaries has already been mentioned. And book reviews. Well timed tidbits from each will get you glowing chuckles at your dinner parties. But who would have thought plant catalogs could almost be as good?

I must have ordered something from Plant Delights Nursery, Inc. at Juniper Level Botanic Gardens out of North Carolina because I'm now getting their catalog without asking for it. And glad to be getting it, too. Not just for the plants and the pictures, but the descriptions of the plants. (I do now remember ordering something. And it's doing well.)

The cover is a certain clue that this might be a plant catalog with more than Latin names. At the top it states: Catalog Price: 10 Stamps or a Box of Chocolates. The cover artwork is by a cartoonist and has a theme, not completely unlike Mad Magazine. This one is Desperate Gardeners and there are women in shorts who could be on television. Maybe they are. Joe Biden's there too. You're just going to have to take my word for it, or check it out yourself.

The rest is straightforward. Sort of. Nice color pictures, prices, advice, all the catalog stuff you'd expect. But here's the dinner party repartee. Maybe.

"Nolina nelsonii. (Nelson's Blue Bear Grass, Origin Mexico.) Resembles giant ponytail palms...with rigid but not sharply pointed 3' long silvery blue-green, grass-like foliage to 1" wide. To quote the redneck pick-up line, it resembles a parking ticket, because it has 'fine' written all over it."

I kid you not. It's a great looking plant, and I might just order it, or look for it locally next year. I'm sure I can tell someone about why I just had to have it.

I'm no longer in a position to find out if that particular opening will get you anywhere, but I'd love to know someone's experience with it. I don't know why it has to be a redneck pick-up line. From what I can see of what passes for a Manhattan bar crowd these days (at least in Chelsea), I can easily imagine it being at least half-way funny given good timing, a smile, and the consumption of a few drinks by both parties.

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