Bearing Up

When I think of Japan I do not think of bears. I think of their rising sun flag, I think of Tokyo. (A five letter word that's three syllables, unlike Ohio which is four letters and three syllables.)  I think of

WW II and Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I certainly do not think about bears.

Japan is mountainous. A topographical map of Japan shows extensive mountain ranges. The average elevation of Japan is 1,437 feet. It looks like the Rocky Mountains as an island. As such, there is wilderness, and as such there are forests and there are bears.

Say what you will about the New York Times—and my wife will forever call it a pinko Commie rag—they do report from all over the world. They have news bureaus everywhere.

So it's no surprise we hear from Japan. What I didn't expect to hear from Japan other than trade agreements about cars, sushi, rare earth metals, and electronics, was a tucked away, one column report, no photo, from the extreme right hand side of a page in Thursday's paper, double bylined, that:

Lethal Attacks By Bears Lead Japan to Send The Military In. With an out quote, we learn: "With 11 dead this year, 'people are living in great fear.'" I would be too. Consider the lede:

"The horror stories are everywhere in Japan this fall. Bears breaking into supermarkets. Bears killing farmers. Bears attacking workers at a hot springs resort. More than 100 people have been injured by bears in Japan this year, and 11 have died."

WTF! It seems the hungry bear population is spreading into residential areas and causing fatal consequences. Trump's administration has deployed troops, but not for reasons of controlling bears. (At least not yet.)
Two reporters no less,
Javier C. Hernandez and Kiuko Notoya, have a bylined story about the dangers in Japan these days.

No less a figure than the defense minister, Shinjiro Koizumi, is saying, "...a bear may in front of your house when you wake up in the morning...people are living in great fear."

Does Japan have RING doorbells? Imagine someone waking up and telling their wife, Sakura, to check the RING doorbell for the image of the bear outside their door. Well a bear outside their door is a reality, Ring doorbell or not.

Global warming gets some blame for creating a scarcity of the beechnuts that bears love. But that's hardly all of the reason.

There are fewer people in these northern areas these days to scare the bears away. Bears outside of Tokyo have been seen. The northern prefecture of Akita has been especially overrun with bears with 50 reports of encounters with bears.

The military will not shoot the bears, but they will pick up the dead carcasses, or put trapped bears in enclosures for hunters to kill. There are a shortage of hunters, as Japan's youth, like in other places, have grown up good at playing video games, but not doing anything outside. There is a shortage of hunters. Planning a trip with you rifle? You're welcome in Japan.

On vacation I read a story in a Connecticut newspaper about how bear sightings in Connecticut have increased. A friend I worked with who moved to Connecticut, to a somewhat rural area close to the New York border, sent me a video of a bear waltzing though their backyard. She has a fairly large piece of property, with woods in the back. 

The Connecticut newspaper story went on to reveal that bears at this time of the year need to consume 20,000 calories before they hibernate for the winter. They are not concerned about their weight, but are mindful of packing the pounds on before they go to sleep for months at a time. No GL-P1 injections for them.

I had no idea what might provide 20,000 calories for a bear, or what 20,000 calories might look like until I took a shot and imagined that Joey Chestnut's intake of 70 hot dogs with buns at Coney Island's July 4th  Nathan's hot dog eating contest might provide some numbers as to the caloric intake. I was right. At 70 hot dogs he was just over 20,000 calories with 20,150.

Coney Island gets its name from the "coney rabbits" that used to live on that strip before it was developed into homes, a beach and an amusement park. But imagine if there were bears. A bear could come out of the dunes, scarf off Joey's plate and have enough calories to go to sleep for he winter.

We're lucky we're not in Japan, but watch out in Connecticut.

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