Build A Phrase

I will admit I'm a bit of a sucker for the well-turned phrase. Trying to collect them is pretty much how this blog got started. Consider the colorful insults you could fling at someone if you had a few skeletal phrases handy. You could customize them for any situation.

The latest one I came across is from a WSJ book review titled A Brawl Over Big Sky Country. The review is by Dave Shiflett of a book by Amy Gamerman titled The Crazies. The Crazies are not only human, but also refer to a "collection of 30 or so stunning Montana mountains with a history of adoration and conflict." 

The weekend or two-week vacationing billionaires who own property with a view of this matchless wonder of nature, do not want anyone who might live there full-time to install wind turbines that have even a remote chance of slicing off their view of these mountains, however small that slice might be.

The reviewer, Mr. Shiflett, tells us these people are so adamant about protecting their views that they'd rather "sit beside a barking dog on a trans-Pacific flight than have their mountain views marred" by a  rancher's proposed installation of wind turbines on his property.

Think of what insults or metaphors you could build with the thought of enduring a barking dog on a trans-Pacific flight.

"I'd rather sit next to a barking dog on a trans-Pacific flight than listen to you."

"You're no better than a barking dog on a trans-Pacific flight that won't shut up."

"An eternity with a barking dog on a trans-Pacific flight is better than being with you."

And on and on. The beauty of this is there are no royalties involved, since the use of the barking dog phrase falls under the fair use provisions of copyright law.

Add to this, paraphrasing lyrics from a recent Willie Nelson song from his Band of Brothers album. The song is titled I Thought I Left You and with very colorful, emphatic language pretty much tries to convey the undesirability of continually seeing you, having you around, or whatever physical presence you might present yourself to me as. If it were a New Yorker cartoon it would be the businessman behind the desk on the phone telling the person on the other end, "How about never—does never work for you?"

Willie's lyrics carry the same meaning, but with more color.

"You're like the measles, you're like the whooping cough,
I've already had you, so why in heaven's name can't you just get lost."

My guess is you could use Covid as the ailment you once had. The sentiment is the same: Don't bother me anymore.

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