CAPTCHAS

Do anything online and you've probably been made to pass a "human" test by identifying motorcycles, fire hydrants, street lights, traffic lights and other urban objects before being allowed to proceed to what you really want to do: spend money. No, I am not a robot.

Sometimes the challenge is to identify the letters and numbers that are displayed in a topsy-turvy hard-to-read font. These seem a little harder than the object matches because it's like trying to read a physician's handwriting.

We're being subjected to CAPTCHA tests. That of course is an acronym much like SCUBA and RADAR. I don't know if it's waiting to be used as Jeopardy clue, but it stands for; Completely Automated Public Turing to tell Computers and Humans Apart. You're welcome.

The Turing reference is to Alan Turing the genius mathematician who is credited with helping to crack the German Enigma codes at Bletchley Park during WW II and who was a very early pioneer in using the computers he invented.

Alan Turing had a test that could be used to distinguish if you were dealing with a computer or a human, and this is long before AI (Artificial Intelligence) has come on the scene. 

As currently designed, CAPTCHAs are a grid of pictures that the user is asked to categorize based on a question; e.g. click on the grids that contain bicycles. Doing so successfully allows the user to proceed to the next series of prompts, which will lead to buying something.

BOTS, or robotic algorithms, attack, or get into computers and either cause damage, or beat the line for Taylor Swift tickets. Thus, the software developers try to determine that a human (you) is trying to proceed with the purchase and you're not an automaton who can scoop up untold chances to buy something.

Until now, I've never failed to pass a CAPTCHA test after two attempts at most. But developers are trying to make the tests harder to thwart bots that can end-around the authentication process.

The Wall Street Journal did an A-Hed piece by Katie Deighton of how developers are upping the degree of difficulty in getting past the human test. The piece was in April  but I just excavated the edition from my pile of unread papers. I did this after I failed my first CAPTHA test when ordering maple syrup and was asked to "find the pattern" in the grid of images.  

Find the pattern? WTF? What do you mean? I was having SAT test-taking PTSD when after maybe 12 attempts I couldn't figure out what the pattern was when presented with ducks, frogs and turtles. I pressed "SKIP" several times but didn't get anything that seemed to make the answer obvious. I was apparently not a human.

Okay, maple syrup people, I've dealt with you before. You better have an 800 number to call, or I'm off to a different merchant. They did have a number, and I placed the order the old fashioned way: I talked to someone. They didn't apologize for the impenetrable CAPTCHA, so I didn't get to know what answer they were looking for.

Mr. Deighton's piece describes the gamesmanship developers are resorting to make sure a human is trying to do something on the computer. She doesn't describe being asked for a "pattern," but does offer examples of challenging directions:

"Touch this spot to move the ship under the spiral galaxy." "Whoops! That's not quite right." At this point I'd be talking to the computer and telling it to go pound salt. "Move the ship under the spiral galaxy! Not the other kinds!" Yeah, pal, I did. Do you want my money of not? I'm not trying to get 800 on this SAT test.

Ms. Deighton tells us "developers and cybersecurity experts who design Captchas are doing all they can to stay one step ahead of bad actors figuring out how to crack them."

I have to say. being 75, I've barely ever played a video game. My two daughters were not brought on video games. If this kind of hurdle keeps presenting itself, I'll just default to a calling the 800 number, if they have one. Otherwise, there won't be a sale. Is anyone out there worried you might be killing business?

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