The Met Gala

Was it really three years ago that Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) wore her in-your-face "Tax the Rich Dress" at the Met Gala where there was nothing but rich people in attendance? The mind boggles.

She hasn't been asked back, and no wonder. The news snippet this morning reported that there were only two politicians at the gala, but didn't name them. Apparently, there is a bit of anonymity involved in getting an invitation and paying what might be $75,000 to attend wearing a dress that I would love to see a woman sitting down in and trying to eat a meal. I'll assume there's food for that money.

AOC took some understandable flak for what she was wearing, and who paid for her to be there. All has been forgotten, since she was re-elected with no problem from a district that includes the Bronx with western Queens. 

The gala is put together by Ann Wintour, the editor-for-life of Vogue magazine. Anyone who scrapes up against the news knows that Ann Wintour usually wears dark glasses when attending fashion runway shows from the front row (always). Does she have glaucoma? Why would you need to wear sun glasses indoors to what I'm sure is a colorful event? Well, maybe they're polarized lenses. No matter.

Does anyone know she's British? You never hear her talk, only see her staring out from her designer sunglasses with the same hairdo she's been sporting for decades.

The steps leading to the Metropolitan Museum make for a grand entrance, and the paparazzi are everywhere snapping shots of the over-the-top dressed women who try and get up the steps without tripping and doing a face plant on stone. That would have to hurt.

And sure enough, actress, singer Tyla wore a Dune inspired dress the color of three shades of sand. She had the foresight to have a Formula 1 pit crew ready to carry her up the museum's steps. Taking no chances, she said that was going to be the only way she was making it up to the entrance.

A gala has to have a theme, and Ann Wintour apologized for the confusing message she was sending to celebrate the Costume Institute's Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion exhibit. She refined the theme to be Garden of Time. What you do with that is up to you I guess.

And if Garden of Time might be a difficult theme to stay with, you have to give it to Jennifer Lopez, one of the many co-chairs of the event for her...well her more than suggestive dress. 

J-Lo, as her celebrity nickname and brand goes, chose something that put a beaded bull's-eye on a portion of female anatomy that I've heard British women of a certain age on Graham Norton's end-of-show closing segment called The Big Red Chair refer to as their "Lady Garden." 

And since the theme had to do with horticulture, Demi, Moore showed up in something that looked like what I might have growing on the side of the house.

And Zendaya, someone who I know nothing of, also adhered to the theme appearing in something that looked like she might have come straight from the garden center.

Easy to say the one-upmanship is played out, but fashion is an industry, and the gala somehow helps fund a museum of fashion, so I should kill the criticism.

Aside from the what I would imagine might be difficulties eating so attired, the practical part of answering a call of nature might prove difficult, finding the hidden zippers that might allow an escape. I would think a successful evening might be one where the only trip to the bathroom would be the need to fix their makeup.

I have to say I miss sitting in a doctor's office office that got all these fashion magazines and more that I could leaf through while I was waiting to get my ears cleaned. Covid put an end to the waiting room literature, and then the doctor retired.

My oldest daughter was getting Elle or Vogue years ago and the issues were so large and heavy that the bottom of the mail box sagged under the weight of all those photos of women dressed in outfits that I've never seen anyone in in person.

But then again, who would have me? I never knew Bad Bunny was a guy.

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