You're a Millionaire? Yeah, So

I have a first cousin who is a millionaire, probably the first in the family of middle-class descendants of Greek, Polish and German heritage. He is a retired career naval officer, a Commander, who likely invested in real estate in San Diego and Hawaii, two places he was stationed at during his career. I never see him, but he seems quite ordinary to me since I've known him when he was a kid.

A millionaire is no big deal. There are probably people living on my suburban block of Levitt homes who could be millionaires. It's not me though.

Along with my morning delivery of The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal I've added the New York Post. I've done this since the NYT has outsourced their sports department to some outfit called The Athletic, which I think the NYT owns. I only wish I had realized sooner how much I would enjoy the New York Post.

It's the one paper my wife will read. She's a tabloid newspaper woman, likes flipping those pages filled with crime, kidnappings and politicians who are jerks. In fact, "jerk" is one of her favorite four-letter words. I won't go into the others. Guess.

The New York Post headlines are legendary. They should make a coffee table book of them. I'd buy it. Their most famous still might be, HEADLESS BODY FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR. If there were a Hall of Fame for headlines, that should be the first one inducted.

The paper turns events of the day into entertaining headlines. Take the M.T.A.'s recent stupid utterance that they wanted to charge the Road Runners Club $750,000 for lost revenue for money lost on the Verrazzano Bridge due to the NYC Marathon's start there gobbling up the upper and lower levels, for not even the whole day! And the Road Runners have had that start there for decades. No money asked. Until now. Why? To buy more mosaic tiles?

If the M.T.A. loses $750,000 in tolls for a few hours on a November Sunday morning due to people using the bridge for the start of a marathon that attracts 50,000 people from all over the world, they are obviously making too much money in tolls. Are they shitting us?

The current toll for the crossing, if you use E-Z Pass, is  $6.55. Of course that's one way. It's $8.36 for non-EZ Pass drivers

Yesterday the Post treated that piece of news in their inimitable fashion: THE SH!T HITS THE SPAN. You gotta live that paper.

The news shows were full of WTF! Last night I said the governor has to put a stop to that idea. And Governor Hochul did just that, as recorded in a New York Post headline on Friday: VERAZZA-NO! Hochul nixes MTA's $750K NYC Marathon bridge fee. I've lately been saying you may not like someone, but you're eventually going to like something they did.

So who does a photo of the world's most famous entertainer at the top of this posting have to do with the New Yok Post headlines?

Well, it  wasn't full headline across the front page, but on Wednesday the Post showed a photo of Taylor Swift on the left side sharing space with another story, and declared: That was $wift, How Taylor became a billionaire.

The story inside on Page 3 describes the sources that have contributed to her wealth: $400M music catalog; $160M streaming; $80M record sales; $370M touring; $150M real estate; unspecified amount from endorsement deals. One wonders what Bruce Springsteen is worth. Or, are his financial people less savvy than Taylor's?

For anyone who might remember, there is a New Yorker cartoon years ago that shows a fellow in an office standing behind a desk, answering a phone and saying..."A billion is a thousand millions? Why wasn't I told that?"

Of course, millions has long been supplanted by billions. But decades ago millions had real meaning in terms of quantifying an enormous sum. When Senator Everett Dirksen from Illinois was talking about proposed federal government spending on developing a supersonic jet in the '60s, the good senator from Illinois intoned, as only he could, "A million here and a million there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money."

And if a billion is a thousand millions, what is a thousand billions? Why a trillion. How high do the numbers go?

Well, I looked it up. Trillion of course has crept into the consciousness since the federal budget and NYC budget have topped that number. Writing exponentially, a million is 10 to the sixth (6), meaning there are 6 zeroes after the one.

So, if a billion is a thousand millions, it is 10 to the ninth (9), meaning 9 zeroes after the one. Logically, a trillion is a thousand billions (who knew?) and would be scientifically written 10 to the 12th power.

Are there more? You betcha.

Quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, all exponentially written by increasing the exponent for a trillion by 3; 10 to the 15th, etc. Had enough? What the hell. How high do the numbers go? Well, infinity, but here is the progressive definition of size, culminating in a gazillion.

A little hard to read, but the link will give you an idea that the naming of large numbers has not been ignored.

You've head people say gazillion? But it's not listed in the table. That's because—wait for it— it is defined by some nerd as 10 to the 28,810 power. Why is that? Because 28,810 is the circumference of earth.

How many zeros is in a gazillion?

A guy named greg actually provides a definition for a gazillion. He claims that "gaz" is actually latin for earthly edge. Assuming this to mean the earths circumference in greek miles, which he claims to be 28,810, he defines a gazillion as 1 followed by 28,810 sets of zeroes.

I kid you not. Are you ready for Jeopardy now? Take the online test now.

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