Washboard Abs

You mean that old washboard I saw up in our attic decades ago is still being made? The short answer is Yes. The joy of reading about the continued production of these washboards is found in a recent delightful A-Hed piece in the WSJ by Kris Maher.

I love that section of the newspaper, and it helps contribute to my continued home delivery subscription of the paper. Home delivery because I would never spend a newsstand price of $5 for any paper other than the Racing Form, and if you buy that at a newsstand it's at least $7- $11 depending on how many tracks you're interested in. I'm only ever interested in one, the one I'm going to that, so the download feature of The Daily Racing Form website gives you a full card of a day's past performances at one track for what is now $3.95. The price keeps going up, but the convenience is worth it.

The A-Hed pieces are priceless. I find it hard to believe that Rupert Murdoch, for all his love of newspapers, was thinking of discontinuing it when he bought the WSJ. Saner heads prevailed.

I too love newspaper, and have left not-all-that-kidding instructions that I want to be buried with three newspapers: The NYT, The WSJ and The Daily Racing Form. The Daily Racing Form goes over my heart.

So where do they still produce washboards? Logan, Ohio. The A-Hed's headlines and sub-headlines always contain a play on words. For the washboard piece we get: "America's Last Washboard Company Is Still Cleaning Up"

They maintain a monopoly by default. No one else is willing to make them, or could make a profit doing it.  The Columbus Washboard Co. employs four, makes 11,000 boards a year in the basement of a former discount variety store, and finds its customers to be musicians and decorators. A popular model sells for $27.49.

On the heels of reading about Chinese hand laundries, I read about washboards. No one actually washes clothes with them, do they? Turns out they do when there is no access to electricity and you're in the military in Iraq or Afghanistan and are trying to keep your clothes clean.

Mr. Maher tells us:

"The company donated 5,000 washboards to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, along with soap, wash tubs, clotheslines and clothespins. A binder holds photos from soldiers and messages saying how clean clothes were a luxury where they were stationed. 'We were amazed at the gratitude that you were able to show us,' wrote a Navy master-at-arms." Who knew anyone used them? They work if you work at it.

Forty percent of the sales go to musicians. The boards are popular with Blue Grass musicians. The street level store in Logan sells outfitted models that really do have all the bells and whistles to make music with. One employee played a washboard with Dolly Parton at Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tenn. during a performance of the theme to '9 to 5.'

The boards have been shipped t o every place on the glob other than Antarctica. Penguins can clean their tuxedos fine, it seems, thank you. Or, there's no Internet down there.

Seeing the photos and reading the story, I've now grown nostalgic for the one I once saw in our attic. Does the one for $27.49 include shipping?

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