The definition of "decent" is quite subjective, and decent might be the wrong word. "Lively" might be better. No matter, the obituary for Renay Mandel Corren penned by her son Andy should make its way into an anthology of obituaries penned by tongue-in-cheek, no doubt slightly exaggerating relatives who create a colorful person without using crayons. In fact, with sufficient research, someone should be able to compile such a book. It won't be me, but an attentive reader might take the project on.
Take the obituary for Ms. Corren, who would probably upbraid you for even using the Ms. honorific. The obituary is really a death notice written by a son who is not directly named, but is inferred to at the end of the obit as being "her favorite son, the gay one who writes catty obituaries in his spare time, Andy Corren, of–obviously–New York City." The obit has appeared online in the Fayetteville Observer on December 15, 2021 and other newspapers. It's gone viral. Ms. Corren passed away on December 11, 2021, having been born on May 10, 1937. She would thus have some memory of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, but it is not mentioned.
The cause of her death is not disclosed, but if the lede to the obituary doesn't pull you in, you're just not a reader of obituaries: El Paso TX—A plus sized Jewish Lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday.
There are a lot of details in the obituary, none of which are the traditional tidbits that usually appear in a death notice, or a tribute obituary. Renay's education is not disclosed, nor is her workplace, other than to say "she worked double shifts with Doreen."
Her parents are not mentioned at all. No names, or occupations. We learn Ms. Corren was born in McKeesport, PA where she probably for the first time went bankrupt. Thus, she probably lived there past high school, assuming attendance at one.
Survivors are named, but acknowledging the Miami phase of her life, it is mentioned that she was preceded in death by Don Shula. When you think of it, anyone who is alive today, or the day after Don's demise, will be preceded in death by Don Shula. Millions. Some experiences are best appreciated when shared.
Renay apparently was an avid bowler, but no lifetime average is disclosed, or what difficult splits she might have made. She just might have been a lady who didn't keep records of scores, likely stemming from her disregard for money and numbers in general. Her son claims there were several bankruptcies. Since it takes seven years to shed the stigma of bankruptcy, the claim that there were several should be believed. I was told once by a lawyer Thomas Jefferson had two bankruptcies. Renay was 84, and obviously joined good company.
The bowling aspect of Renay's life is planned to be acknowledged when there will be a non-denominational memorial on May 10, 2022, at a so far undisclosed bowling alley, but one that will be in Fayetteville, NC. The memorial is apparently open to anyone to attend since the son tells us "the family requests zero privacy or propriety."
Renay was also fond of dirty jokes, although none are sneaked into the obit, I'll guess because if they were cleaned up for a family newspaper they might lose their punch. Jokes are like that. They don't revise well. It seems unlikely the NYT is going to pick up on her demise and write a tribute piece. And given the son's details of Renay's life and her very recent demise, she certainly is not an overlooked historical figure.
Although the son doesn't attribute Renay's prowess at cribbage to her being Jewish, there is often a correlation. The son tells us Renay was ranked nationally as the "11th or 12th-ranked woman cribbage player in America." Admittedly, there is no corroboration.
Although it is not mentioned, Renay would by all accounts of New York City speech be referred to as a bubala. A Yiddish dictionary, one of which I don't have, but one I posses in my head having grown up in New York City, is a "term of endearment. It's like 'oh, sweetie!' But more fun. Because it sounds like boobie."
The son tells us in the obituary Renay didn't cook, but certainly in the above photo hardly looks like anyone who has missed many, if any, meals. Someone cooked. The old joke about Jewish women is that they don't make much of anything regarding food other than reservations.
When we moved into our current home in 1992, the prior owners were an elderly Jewish couple, who of course were moving to Florida. There is no secret that Florida has been attracting New York Jews for decades. All their friends were there already. They had to move to Florida.
The couple's kitchen had just been redone and the appliances and cabinets were all new. How new I don't know, but there were still remnants of shrink wrap attached to the oven handle door. I have always joked that the owner's manual was inside the oven as well. (It really wasn't.)
The absolute bombshell in the obit is that Renay had an affair with Larry King in the '60s, who of course also preceded her in death, as he has millions of others, and untold more millions who have yet to be conceived.
An unnamed husband is mentioned, but he is described as a "philandering Sergeant Major" who she divorced in the '70s. Perhaps the marriage to the Sergeant Major can explain the reference in the obit that Renay bowled in Japan, likely when he was posted there for some reason.
But the Larry King reference hangs in the air. Renay is said to have hailed from Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Florida and Texas. Larry King's obit tells us he "began as a local radio interviewer and sportscaster in Florida in the 1950s and 1960s."
Renay and Larry could have certainly run into each other, an occurrence made plausible, when you read in Mr. King's obit it is disclosed he "married eight times to seven women; a chronic gambler who declared bankruptcy twice and was arrested on fraud charges that derailed his career for years."
He and Renay could have easily run into each other at any number of venues: crap and blackjack tables, slot machines, or even in line at bankruptcy court. The son tells us to "spend some government money today on a one-armed bandit, or a blackjack table to find the family inheritance," since Renay left no one anything other than memories. Well, maybe the dress she's wearing in the above photo. It's not mentioned.
Given Renay's proclivity at relationships, having "six kids, one Cesarean, a few abortions from the Quietly Famous Abortionist of Spring Lake, NC" the son wonders out loud in print if he could be one of Larry's children.
Renay passed away in El Paso, Texas, and the son who wrote the obit, Andy Corren, lives in New York City. According to the son, Renay "eked out her final years of luxury (she literally retired at 62) under the care, compassion, checking accounts and evidently unlimited patience of her favorite son and daughter-in-law Michael and Lourdes Corren, of world famous cow sanctuary El Paso, Texas."
We'll leave it at that. There's even more in the obit, but why keep paraphrasing someone's memories?
The only real question left for me is if when the bowling alley venue is chosen for the May 10, 2022 memorial service, is how many lanes will be devoted to it, and will TV cover it?
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