The Return

After a heart attack and the emergency insertion of two stents in the right coronary artery, followed by the planned insertion of one stent in the left coronary artery three weeks later, it is nice to return to the rhythm of repetition.

And nowhere can you find that repetition more on display than at the racetrack. After all these decades—near centuries—they still run counter-clockwise in North America, on dirt and grass, various distances on a nine or ten race card, for an assortment of thoroughbreds meeting a wide-range of eligibility conditions. The new normal is pretty much the old normal.

Sure, they're running in front of empty grandstands, with those few allowed at the track having to wear surgical masks because of the coronavirus pandemic—even the jockeys while competing in the race—but there is still an order of finish, payouts of wide variance, and happy and broke gamblers whose wagers have been electronically submitted through a wide array of betting platforms, who will acquire amnesia with a good night's sleep, and be ready to hope for the best with the next days' racing and betting opportunities.

The four days of telecasts called America's Best Racing are hosted by an all-star broadcast crew of Greg Wolfe, former jockey Richard Migliore, with racing analysts Maggie Wolfendale, Acacia Courtney, acerbic Andy Serling, and handicapping champion Jonathon Kinchen, whose choice of shirts are bright enough to wake the dead. Never have so many talked so much to so few in live attendance.

But with the paucity of televised sports due to the pandemic, racing is offering live action to those who wouldn't otherwise seek it out from racing. Will new fans be generated? There will be some, but probably not enough to move the needle to have racing compete with other sports once they return to normal.

Given my recent series of health events it is just nice to sit back and listen to Maggie and Acacia go on and on about how so and so in the paddock has lost weight, gained wight, is "on the muscle" and has hind quarters that spell sprinter, even if this is a route race. No one has nothing to say.

And then thee's Andy Serling, whose been doing his version of the "The Price is Never Right" for decades now. Even his comments are welcome. His memory recall is phenomenal when he pulls out that so and so won this race 10 years ago. As is Greg Wolfe's memory.

Jonathon Kinchen's handicapping of Pick-5 tickets is abysmal. And there are two Pick-5s on the card. You can pretty much count on your ticket being blown out of the water by the completion of the second leg in the sequence. I can't imagine JK's return on investment crossing into the plus side at any point. If you play his Pick-5 selections you should pretty well be wiped out by now and sleeping at your in-laws on a couch in the garage.

And who makes the telecast possible? The sponsors, who happen to be Claiborne Farm hawking shares of Run Happy so vigorously that I'm sure to crack one day and look into seeing what I'm sure I can't afford.

How many people are lead to buy breeding shares of Run Happy based on Claiborne's commercials has to be has to be no more than how many are allowed to ride in an elevator these days. The professional breeders and owners already know all about Run Happy, so any commercial hawking his sperm can only be just more background noise.

But it's welcome background noise, because it allows the telecasts to run. The owner of Run Happy, Jim McIngvale, "Mattress Mack," down in Houston is doing more than his share of promoting racing. Jim has made a fortune manufacturing mattresses and selling furniture. He has given away nearly as much as he has sold.

And if you can't afford a breeding share of Run Happy, or already have one or more, then you might support Petaluma Creamery, another major sponsor of the telecasts by buying their Spring Hill organic Jersey cheddar cheese. Why go hungry if you're winning or losing money?

How nice it is to tune in and already know what I'm going to hear. I've already had enough surprises.

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