Spies and the Mobius Strip

At this point in my life I find the books I generally gravitate toward and read the most are those about spies. Some of them are spy novels, some are non-fiction accounts of spies. Books by John le Carre and Ben Macintyre. Books about detectives as well. Morse stories by Colin Dexter, Kurt Wallander tales from Henning Mankell fill the shelves.

John le Carre and Ben Macintyre are the reigning British spy writers. John le Carre is now 85, and has just published 'A Legacy of Spies.' something I'll soon have on the nightstand. It seems to have been well received.

Just back from vacation at racing's Holy Land, Saratoga, which always puts me inside the Northshire book store in Saratoga Springs, New York and Manchester, Vermont. This year I came back with the paperback edition of Ben Macintyre's Agent Zigzag, a tale of Edward Arnold Chapman, the only Britisher to have been awarded Germany's Iron Cross. He basically spied as a triple agent, appearing to his British handlers as being a double agent, and to his German handlers as their double agent. He spied for the Germans, while feeding them diluted intelligence on British activities. The Germans loved him. After the war his German handler, Baron Stephan von Grunen, even came to his daughter's wedding.

The book has been out for several years now, so a paperback is what was easily available. On the top of the front cover is a blurb written by William Grimes of the New York Times..."Ben Macintyre's rollicking, spellbinding Agent Zigzag blends the spy-versus-spy machinations of John le Carre with the high farce of Evelyn Waugh." No wonder it's on the front cover. Two literary names are dropped.

The Times's London journalist, Sarah Lyall, recently did an interview with le Carre and Macintyre in advance of the release of le Carre's latest. Birds of a feather flock together.

Yesterday's NYT obits page brought us the passing of Jeannie de Clarens, 98, a British spy who uncovered rockets used by Hitler, "using charm and guile to coax the Germans into revealing secrets."

There are some photos of Jeannie taken well after the war, but surely several years before she died. There are more than the remains of a fine looking woman about her, one who even at an older age looks like someone whose ashes could be banked into flames again. At the age she would have been when she was sweet-talking Germans, the woman must have been a complete knock-out. The Germans didn't stand a chance.

Jeannine passed away in Montaigu, southeast of Nantes, France. The obit is by William Grimes, whose blurb was just discovered on the cover of Agent Zigzag.

Chapter 5 of Agent Zigzag has Eddie Chapman being transferred from a German prison, Fort de Romainville, a 1830s fortification in the suburbs of Paris being used by the Germans to imprison anyone they don't like. Chapman has wound up there because he was doing time in a British prison on the Channel Islands, the one land mass of Great Britain that was occupied by Germany. Bad luck can sometimes be someone's only luck. Or maybe not.

Mr. Chapman is as wily a character as there is, and he applies to become a spy for Germany. It is not likely the Germans put up a job posting on the prison's stone walls describing vacancies in that department. Mr. Chapman thought that one up on his own. He obviously figured they needed a few good men.

Time passed, and low and behold, his application was accepted! One day he was transported to Villa de la Bretonniere, a residence that was larger than a mansion, but smaller than a chateau, appropriated by the Nazis from a wealthy Jew who they reasoned no longer needed to live there. Here, Eddie was going to be trained to become a spy for Germany. Or, so they thought.

And where is Villa de la Bretonnire? In Nantes, France. I've now heard of Nantes, France in a span of two days. And William Grimes has been somewhat responsible. Round and round we go.

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Summer School at the Spa

Horseplayers are unlicensed pathologists. They know everything after the race is over.

There is a maxim in medicine that all doctors can learn things about their patients. But the pathologist--the medical examiner--knows everything because the patient has now passed the finish line and is dead.

Horseplayers have been described as having the "I coulda, I woulda, I shoulda" disease. But there is another disease: Seeing the outcome and not acting on it. Call it 'CI--Clairvoyance Ignored.'

I once attended a meeting at the health insurance company I worked for where the senior executives were so bold as to describe the tens of millions of dollars they wasted on a failed e-commerce effort as "great tuition." I thought these guys belong in Washington.

The most recent annual trip to the Holy Land of racing, Saratoga, was not a financial success. It was a success by many other measurements, but by the time I was finished, my starting voucher was worth 90 cents. The voucher's value rose and fell as each race progressed, but ultimately fell below the price of even the cheapest newspaper.

The fourth and final day saw the two members of The Assembled growing a bit weary of getting beat by long shots that suddenly woke up, by trainers who suddenly added a victory to their already rather pathetic records, that rendered our exacta picks as 2-3 finishers, or interlopers who didn't get out of the way before the wire and left us with 1-3 exacta finishes. These beats are part of the game, as is CI, Clairvoyance Ignored.

Friday's race card was devoted to New York bred horses. A guest on the Seth Morrow morning Capital District OTB show whose name I forget, but someone whose brother is a trainer, informed us that New York breds now account for something like 46% of the NYRA entrants. That is significant. There are now three New York Showcase Days. There used to be just one.

A race, or a whole card of New York breds means that all the horses entered are considered to have been bred in New York State by virtue of where their dam in stabled. FourstarDave and Funny Cide are just a few of the famous New York breds to cross the wire first. Like New York wines, a New York bred is no longer an industry joke.

Races that are restricted to New York breds mean just that, they have to be from a dam who is standing in New York. A restricted race eliminates horses whose breeding is other than New York. The whole point of the state-wide breeding program is to promote the New York line of breeding. There are incentives in the program that reward people who engage in owning New York bred horses.

A so-called New York bred race, eliminating horses from other domains, is like a race that might be held for people who are only from your neighborhood. The competition might not be of the highest level. A rhetorical question in boxing and racing always is, "well, yeah, but who did they beat?"

Thus, when a New York bred horse enters an open race, a race with no breeding restrictions built into the conditions, the "who did they beat" questions gets asked a lot. Maybe they looked good in the restricted race, but how are they going to do against all-comers?

Occasionally, and only occasionally, a New York bred race will contain horses who are New York breds, but who have also raced elsewhere, in open races. Attention must be paid to these horses.

I like to think I notice quite a bit from a study of the Daily Racing Form's past performances. Those sages on the TV screen are really just people who have read The Form. You can see the same thing. Or not.

So, when the 8th race on the Friday card presented itself, we were tasked with trying to pick winners from a group of 2 year-old filly New York breds who of course had not raced often. The race was named 'Seeking the Ante' after a moderately successful New York bred that raced in 2004 and 2005.

These kind of races somewhat annoy me. You can of course pass the race, but I didn't travel to Saratoga to cherry pick races, I came to play.

A race like Seeking the Ante usually consists of lightly raced horse who have really just broken their maiden, winning for the first time. For that win, the trainer/owner thinks they've got a world-beater and therefore enter the horse in what is a $200,000 purse race. That's the part that annoys me. A competition for $200,000 for horses that have not yet had their picture taken in the winner's circle more than once. Infants. Rookies.

But, a race is a puzzle whose clues are sought after. So, when it is noticed that the trainer Peter Eurton, a West Coast trainer who is Britney Eurton's (a TVG on-air personality) father has got a horse entered, the antenna goes up.

Okay, I can understand how Newport Breeze got its West Coast based name, but why is this horse here? Why is Peter Eurton represented in New York when the horse, a New York bred, has raced twice in California, once at Santa Anita and once at Delmar, winning their maiden race at Delmar? What's up with that?

The Beyer speed ratings are subpar, the breeding is rather pedestrian, despite the $100,000 auction purchase price. The jockey however is Jose Ortiz, a leading jockey at the meet. So, why has Jose's agent booked him to ride this animal? Racing twice in California means the horse has raced in open company, not a New York restricted race. Who did they beat? Well, anyone who was entered, with no breeding restrictions on the entrants. Clairvoyance is active. A $200,000 race is why they're here.

These are all good things to spot. But the observational powers were tired, and missed in the pre-race analysis a horse trained by California based Doug O'Neill, a bit of a pariah in New York, who brought I'll Have Another to New York in 2012, poised to go for the Triple Crown after Derby and Preakness victories. But Doug has always been viewed suspiciously for drugging violations, so NYRA added some restrictions on where I'll Have Another was going to be stabled before the Belmont. Eyes were on the horse.

Doug O'Neill's reaction to the added scrutiny was to play along for a while, but to ultimately scratch the horse from the Belmont, claiming a minor injury. Horses with two legs of the Triple Crown under their hooves do not usually scratch from the Belmont a day before the race. There were unhappy people.

And who owns O'Neill's horse in this 8th race? Paul Reddam, who owned I'll Have Another. The owner whose business dealing were the subject of a New York Times story days before the Belmont. Even the owner was considered radioactive.

Who was riding Cause We Are Loyal? Well, Mario Guiterrez, a West Coast jockey who rode the horse in their first start at Santa Anita, finishing third. The horse's second race was a maiden race victory at Los Alamitos under Corey Nakatani.

What are the Beyers? Subpar again. Why are these people even here? Well, O'Neill has Irap in the Travers for Reddam Racing, so their presence is understandable.

So, what are the dots that should have been reacted to? The Peter Eurton entry, Newport Breeze, is one dot that is noted pre-race. Peter never brings horses to the East. He has not started a horse at the meet yet. But subpar Beyers take him out of consideration.

O'Neill's horse? Unfortunately overlooked. Why unfortunately? You weren't there, were you?

Order of finish of the 4th running of the six and a half furlong Seeking the Ante?

Cause We are Loyal, at 11-1, paying $24.40, which turns out to be the longest price of the day.

Second, in a stirring stretch drive, Jose Ortiz on Newport Breeze at nearly 6-1.

The exacta--which is a distinct betting possibility to consider to make at a $1 box, costing $2, as a flyer on the flyers from California--pays $74.25. Illness has set in.

I did get even somewhat and played West Coast in the Travers, a Bob Baffert-trained horse ridden by Mike Smith, also known as Big Money Mike.

Winners are good, but the plays that weren't made because of CI, Clairvoyance Ignored, do stay with you. The executives at my old company would call it "Great Tuition."

Summer school at the Spa.

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Memories from Exit 14

I'm not sure how familiar anyone is with the lyrics to 'Adelaide's Lament' from the Broadway show 'Guys and Dolls.' The show goes back to the 40s and 50s and is taken from a Damon Runyon story. The basic story line is that a pair of Broadway gamblers, Nathan Detroit and Sky Masterson are in need of a place to play their high stakes crap game in New York City.

At the time the story was written and the play appeared on Broadway, Las Vegas was just a dot on a map. Casinos in the United States basically did not exist, but illegal places to play were always cropping up.

Nathan Detroit is an afflicted gambler who is engaged to Adelaide, a chorus line dancer at the Hot Box club. Nathan has commitment problems since he and Adelaide have been seeing each other for well over a decade, with no movement on Nathan's part to take Adelaide as his dearly beloved--to get married.

Like any afflicted gambler of that era, Nathan is also an inveterate horse player. In NYC at that time this is easy. There are several thoroughbred tracks. There is no off-track betting or computer betting, but if one needs to get a bet down while not at the track there are always bookmakers roaming around who will take your bet.

And then as now, the summer racing season was always moved to Saratoga in the month of August. The swells have been taking their horses to Saratoga since the mid-19th century to escape the summer hear of the cities. No air conditioning then either.

Train service was the most prevalent form of travel. There were of course cars, but no thruways. No Northway. The train that left NYC for Saratoga continued on to Niagara Falls, then the honeymoon capital of the nation. The just-marrieds from anywhere headed to Niagara Falls.

Adelaide's been waiting for Nathan a long time to finally make good on a commitment. In fact, she's been writing her mother they are married, and have children. An unmarried woman of Adelaide's age is not a good thing. She's embarrassed.

There is a song in the 'Guys and Dolls' show that is called 'Adelaide's Lament,' where she describes a psychosomatic cold that comes on over her because she is still not married. She remarks about the August train ride they take that is headed to Niagara Falls, but where they get off at Saratoga, now for the 14th time.

I'm sure it is pure coincidence that the exit on New York's Northway for Saratoga Springs is Exit 14. There are things you can't make up. I think the car drives itself to our destination at this point.

This year's annual pilgrimage to the finish line was not especially financially rewarding. That is code for losing. However, upon arriving at home and watching the Travers whatever aura of luck that might have been missing while at the track was restored, and I hit with West Coast to win, at 6-1. While this didn't completely reverse the ink from red to black, it did provide the boost any horseplayer enjoys: picking a winner that most others didn't.

The happy feeling was made even better by telling the waitress at our breakfast place, Poopie's in East Glen Falls on Lawrence Street, that we were favoring West Coast in the Travers. It is always nice to leave a tip, and then also leave another tip that comes in. My wonder is if a year from now she will remember we gave her the winner at breakfast.

Poopie's was mentioned for the first time as part of a blog entry in 2012 when we first took the motel owner's recommendation and sought the place out. It is the most local of places. On any given day the place is so filled with regulars it would be no surprise to learn they all have yearbooks from the same high school.

As for the same waitress being there next year, we have no doubt she will be, along with her sister, another waitress and mother and father who own the place. The father Jerry is the grill man, who singularly completes everyone's breakfast order. Jerry is somewhere in his early 60s, taking over the business his father started in 1954. Jerry loves rock music, and pipes a good volume of it through the eatery's sound system. Autographed crossed hockey sticks get a pride of place placing. Glens Falls is the AHL home of the Detroit Red Wing farm team. Through connections, the Stanley Cup generally makes its way to Poopie's every summer, no matter who won it.

Red Smith once commented that it took him a long time to find his way to the press box at Yankee Stadium. Once getting there, he felt is would be a real waste if he didn't put all that went into that to good use.

We've been getting off at Exit 14 way more times than Adelaide got off the train single at Saratoga.

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In Memoriam

Seeing photos of the deceased accompanying their death notice is now not at all unusual, even for the New York Times. On any given day there can be several photos of deceased that are accompanying their paid death notice. Paid death notices are a bit of a profit center for newspapers, and I'm sure adding a photo adds to the cost.

What is unusual is seeing a photo of the deceased accompanying their In Memoriam tribute. These tributes are also paid notices, and are likewise priced by the number of lines. A photo here I'm sure adds to the cost.

In Memoriams are typically taken to acknowledge a milestone number of years after the death, or the birth of the deceased. Photos are somewhat rare, but I do remember one in particular when it was the 100th birthday of the actor David Niven. His son acknowledged his birthday in the NYT with an In Memoriam piece.

Today's NYT carries an In Memoriam tribute, with photo, that at first seems a bit cryptic. We don't get an obvious date of birth, and the milestone acknowledgement seems to be marking 70 years, when the deceased, Thomas J. Gargan left the NYC police department. Did the die in the line of duty? Yes. Killed by a burglar as he was responding to the call.

The motto of the police department, Fidelis Ad Mortem is the last line in the tribute. Faithful Unto Death. Above it are years marking Mr. Gargan's time spent in the U.S. Marine Corps (1923-1927), his time spent in the police department when he was part of the "Strong-Arm Squad," (1927-1933), and then when he was assigned to the 6th Precinct (1933-8/14/1947). The EOW in the tribute stands for End of Watch, the day he was killed in the line of duty.

The reference to the "Strong Arm Squad" is the first I ever heard of a group so named in the NYC Police Department. As a kid I loved to hear of the guys who were with the "Safe, Loft and Truck Squad," a unit that investigated commercial burglaries, safe crackings, truck hijackings, kidnappings, and art thefts. It was an elite unit, disbanded and reorganized in the 1990s.

A Google search for Strong Arm Squad yields plenty of hits about a very colorful unit of the police department tasked with breaking up and fighting street gangs, of which there were plenty in the latter part of the 19th century and the early 20th century.

My own memory of a special squad that was somewhat like the Strong Arm Squad was of the TPF, the Tactical Patrol Force, a unit charged with maintaining crowd control during the many demonstrations that were held in the 1960s. The TPF was disbanded when it became associated with bad publicity for their aggressiveness in controlling demonstrations.

Years ago I worked with a former member of the TPF who headed our fraud unit at a major health insurance company. He left the force and went on to get a Ph.D. in Public Administration after his wife convinced him that police work was far too dangerous and she was worried sick about him.

The In Memoriam notice for patrolman Thomas J. Gargan is not signed, but it does convey the message that police work can be dangerous in any era.

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Morning Ailments

Have lately been watching a morning news show for a bit, HLN's, 'The Morning Express with Robin Meade.' Lots of video of floods, traffic pileups, railway pileups, tornadoes, cops, recalls, food scares, pets, music videos, trending Tweets, Taylor Swift groping trial, Tiger Woods DUI updates, and other staples for what passes these days for important "news." And of course weather. Never forget the weather

Aside from the expected segments of heart-tuggers are the commercials. And the ratio of health related commercials to other commercials, for say Progressive, or Geico insurance, automobiles, cable companies, et al is astounding. If it were a batting average, the player would be in Cooperstown on the first ballot.

There are so many "medicinal" commercials, as I call them, that they run back-to-back-to-back. It's a tsunami of health related remedies that would make you doubt Americans are living longer. You would think we're all watching TV from a hospital bed, ER, or a waiting room.

Here's a sample from just one day's worth of viewing. And this is hardly from the entire show, which runs 5 hours.

Menigitis-B vaccine. Meningitis-B is rare, but you certainly wouldn't want to get it. They have a point.

Trintellix, for depression, with more side effects to make you even more depressed.

Optum, a health care company that's putting all the health data to use, with the tagline: "How well gets done." I'm encouraged by this.

Chrohn's Disease, Stelara. 'It's more than a bathroom disease." There is cause for alarm there.

Allergies, Flonase. "Six is better than one." Always depends are what you're counting, but I guess in their case they might be right?

Medicare Advantage coverage helpline. Jason Buchwald, M.D. will help wade you through the swamp and help you determine if you can get a Medicare Advantage Plan.

Listerine. Okay, not a prescription, but is out there with: "Bad breath killing power. Fresh breath on the go." Not sure it has been tested on people who are holding the pole with you on the subway who have just consumed a glove of garlic, or a bag of lyche nuts.

Cosentyz, plaque psoriasis. "Show the real you." Endorsed by Cyndi Lauper, among others.

Otezla, plaque psoriasis. Side effects are upper respiratory infection; depression. But go for it anyway.

Breo, prevents asthma symptoms. Do not use as a rescue inhaler. You won't be rescued.

Nasocort, for allergy sufferers.

Biotene, for dry mouth.

So, how are you feeling now? Still feel like going to the store?

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Froz Fruit

It is one thing to find your favorite frozen food in your grocer's freezer, and a whole other thing to find 106 year-old fruitcake in a building on Antarctica.

Russell Baker years and years ago observed that fruitcake was the one food that could qualify as a family heirloom. But could anyone anticipate that fruitcake would qualify as a science exhibit?

Consider the story in today's NYT that tells us of a tin of fruitcake, no doubt belonging to the British explorer Robert F. Scott, that was found in Antarctica's oldest building, constructed by a Norwegian explorer's team in 1899. So, not only is the food found in the freezer old, but the the food was found in a building that is even older.  This is all starting to make sense, when you think about it.

The fruitcake apparently is from the British biscuit maker Huntley & Palmers, a company that is still in business, and still boasting that their tins have turned up in the most unexpected places. The fruitcake has been removed from the hut in Antarctica, along with other artifacts, and is being conserved in a lab in Christchurch, New Zealand. It will eventually be returned to its spot on the frozen continent, since nothing is supposed to be removed from there.

Considering that Antarctica is basically off-limits to anyone not connected with scientific expeditions, there is no change that tourist traffic through the hut will at any time approach that of what Venice endures during the summer. It is one supermarket aisle that may be colder than your grocer's freezer, but it is also one you're not going to get to stroll through.

We know cold helps preserves things. There wouldn't be all those refrigerators in the world holding all the food they do if that weren't the case. But we also know some things other than food have been placed on ice.

Considering that the head of Ted Williams is being preserved somewhere as a cryogenics project in hopes of bringing the last .400 hitter back to life, one has to wonder, if all that is successful, what will be the first piece of food he'll be interested in eating? Could he do worse than starting off with a wedge of fruitcake? They'll be about the same age by then.

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Bronco Buckaroo

If a life can be viewed differently, then certainly the obituary of that life can be viewed differently.

Take Ty Hardin, star of the Western 'Bronco' series, who has now passed away at 87. 'Bronco' was a TV Western adventure series in the 50s and 60s that truthfully, I do not remember. The television might have been taken "to the shop" for a long period then, and I never established a viewing habit with the show. Now 'The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin' would be another story.

Mr. Hardin's wife Caroline confirmed his death, but said the cause was still to be determined.

The NYT obituary by William Grimes tells us Mr. Hardin "carved a niche playing Bronco Layne, a soft-spoken loner slow to anger but quick on the draw and skilled in the saddle."

"Mr. Hardin's first seven marriages ended in divorce." No word on how many different horses he might have ridden in the show.

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A Shoe Less Horse

There are several reasons why I like horse racing. There is the continuity of tradition. There is the chance to actually make money while being a spectator, an interactive spectator. At a ball game there can be enjoyment, but are you ever going to leave the ball park with more money than you walked in with? Think about it. And then there are the stories that come out of the track. Human and equine.

Yesterday's 90th running of The Whitney (formerly a handicap race) at Saratoga gave everyone more than the winner, Gun Runner, the overwhelming favorite who didn't disappoint, winning in a credible time of 1:47 3/5 for the mile and an eighth, but also an added story of the winner finishing the race while wearing a horseshoe from a rival.

Gun Runner didn't start the race with Cautious Giant's shoe caught in his tail, but he certainly finished the race with it clearly dangling stubbornly in the tangled hairs. Gun Runner's trainer, Steve Asmussen later reported he had to pull out some of Gun Runner's tail hairs just to finally get the horseshoe off the tail. Barbara Livingston, the Daily Racing Form's chief photographer extraordinaire caught the image in the above photo.

The TV cameras caught it, and eventually everyone at the track knew that Gun Runner was carrying a spare shoe back to the winner's circle. Cars have spares, so why shouldn't horses? And since Gun Runner didn't start the race with a stray shoe dangling from its tail, no change of equipment needed to be announced. The race was declared Official.

Horses lose shoes during races, not often, but it happens. There are even rare occasions where it is announced that a horse might be running without shoes. Why this occurs, I do not know, but I have heard the announcement.

So, how did this happen? Well it seems Cautions Giant who took the lead with the intention of being a rabbit for War Story, took the lead and threw a shoe, perhaps at the half mile pole, or maybe a little sooner. With Gun Runner close by, the shoe flew up and got tangled in his tail. It must be said that Cautious Giant has to be the world's slowest rabbit. A rabbit in a race is a horse intentionally entered to run fast on the front end, hoping to tire the favorite out, and set the race up for the other half of the entry.

Running a half mile in :48 1/5 seconds makes Cautious Giant the slowest rabbit to ever practice the tactic. Famously in the series of races between Damascus and Dr. Fager, Damascus's trainer Frank Whitely Jr. entered Hedevar to soften the Good Doctor up, It worked. But Hedevar was a fast horse to begin with, holding the world record for the mile at the time. A rabbit that creates a traffic jam is not really a rabbit.

Gun Runner wasn't done in by the "rabbit" and wasn't done in by carrying the extra weight of an opponent's horseshoe. The official Daily Racing Form chart of the race makes note of the thrown shoe, and the "bride" who caught it. It really was good luck.

Horses go around a racetrack, but money, cash, makes the racetrack go round. Consider the photo Tweeted out by the @LRFRacingClub, showing a Del Mar money room employee holding 10 stacks of $100,000, making her truly look like a million.

And who is on the $100 bill? Why Ben Franklin of course. Getting Benjamins at the track is the highlight of any day. Catching a foul ball or a home run might be nice, but catching a few, or a fistful of Benjamins, is the best. Money won is twice as nice as money earned

And does anyone out there know of a famous quote from Ben regarding horseshoes?

For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail. 

Think of poor Richard III in the Battle of Bosworth.

King Richard III lost his kingdom for lack of a nail as he was losing the battle and enemy troops were closing in around him he said, "My horse, my horse, my kingdom for a horse."

We can see how having a horseshoe is considered lucky.

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Reconnecting with Downton Abbey

It was rather nice to drift back into viewing a few episodes of  'Downton Abbey' from its now completed final season. I've been saving the shows in my DVR to give me something to watch when New York's teams further frustrate me. Say what you will about 'Downton,' the characters do keep their clothes on.

I started writing the above in April 2016 and took a very long break from watching any more shows. They're still on the DVR and I just watched one where everyone seems to be happy and doing their thing--Mary and Tom are planning things on the estate and watching race cars; Mr. Mason has just moved into his new farmhouse; Spratt has saved Denker's ass from getting fired for being wholly impertinent to Dr. Clarkson on a village street; Lady Edith is making a career for herself publishing a magazine in London; the downstairs staff is handling their travails, and Thomas is offering to teach Andrew to read so he can be a pig farmer; Baxter turns out not to be needed as a witness at a trial involving a former associate accused of stealing.

Mrs. Hughes and Carson are trying to adjust to one another after getting married. It seems she's been away from the kitchen for so long she's not good at cooking. She needs Care packages from Mrs. Patmore to get her going, and even then she is screwing it up. There are no TV dinners in Downton Abbey.

Cousin Isobel, Countess Violet and Lady Granthan are having a MAJOR policy disagreement on how health care should be delivered to the people in the village. The disagreement obviously predates any debate that might occur in the U.S. by decades, but it does show you the durability of the topic.

All this good-natured bliss and banter is stunningly interrupted when Robert, Lord Granthan, becomes Linda Blair in 'The 'Exorcist' and coughs up an incredible amount of blood from a ruptured stomach ulcer, spraying nearly everyone at the dinner table, and collapsing in a bloody heap. There is drama in Downton.

The scene is so bloody that you have to hope they didn't need to do many takes. It wouldn't have been fun for the cast to have to repeatedly watch Hugh Bonneville go through all that a few times, just to "get it right."

The dinner is with none other than the Health Minister Neville Chamberlain, who will later of course become the prime minister and famously think he's got Hitler's assurances that he will be a good boy. We know how that one turned out.

After some frightfully long moments of not knowing how the Lordship will be, it is revealed the surgery went well, a gastrectomy, and that Lord Granthan is resting in the hospital.

As for Health Minister Chamberlain, the eruption of blood saved him from having to weigh in on the dispute regarding the village health care. He tells Tom an amusing anecdote about a prank he was involved in as a youth that diverted traffic at a busy intersection in London, creating chaos. and then departs. Lady Violet, of course knowing Neville since he was in diapers, knows all about the prank and was trying to use it as a bit of blackmail to get the minister on her side. Didn't work.

The plan is to finish watching the few remaining episodes on the DVR and then go with Verizon's Quantum service that provides a much bigger DVR, and the ability to do more things with regard to recording and watching at the same time.

It is hard to believe that Julian Fellowes will have success in translating Downton to the U.S. market and set a storyline in New York City around the time Edith Wharton's 'Age of Innocence' takes place. In fact, Martin Scorsese's 1993 'Age of Innocence' was just on, and looks way too boring to be a weekly series.

Americans acting British doesn't seem to hold appeal.

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