A Lively Life

A lively life can lead to an lively obit, and The Telegraph's one for Cynthia Payne is no exception.

Not familiar with The Telgraph? Well, it's a U.K. paper that has a following in the British Commonwealth. This includes Australia, where @justjenking retweeted about the United Kingdom's most famous brothel-keeper who has now passed away at 82.

Old brothel-keepers, madams, always seem to attain a certain level of respect, and prove the words of Noah Cross, as played by John Huston in the movie 'Chinatown' to be prophetic. Anyone who remembers the scene where Mr. Cross looks up from his outdoor lunch and greets the Jack Nicholson's private eye character Jake Gittes with the observation that all "politicians, public buildings and whores gain respectability if they last long enough" will understand how true that statement turns out to be when the read the take on Ms. Payne's life. Lust for Life could be the story of Ms. Payne's life if Irving Stone hadn't already used the title for his book on Vincent Van Gogh,

The Telegraph's obit might be nearly as pleasing as a romp through one of the rooms that Ms. Payne kept occupied by a select breed of woman who attended to men's pleasures, even if they included a replay of what they might have endured in those all-male boarding schools when the teacher used the switch to make a point on tender anatomical parts.

The obit's liveliness is created in typical British fashion--by the words used to describe things. Thus, we are treated to Ms. Payne's birthday present for her 16 year-old son as the time he was "deflowered" by an employee.

We also have a remembrance of something Jeffrey Bernard wrote in the The Spectator, when he declared Ms. Payne was the most famous Englishwoman since Boadicea.

Now that's something. He skips over every Queen there ever was, in addition to Florence Nightingale, and goes for a woman who was a Queen of the British Iceni tribe who led an uprising against the Roman Empire.

Who? Well, the woman as depicted above is Boadicea, a very rough looking customer, who is seen on horseback carrying a spear rather than a punishment switch. She could be the cover to an action video game. She passed away in 61 A.D. so she goes back. But if she were alive today there is no doubt she too would have flattened Ronda Rouley in a UFC championship match.

We too have famous brothel-keepers who have been somewhat endeared by the news media. There's Heidi Fleiss, the actor Charlie Sheen's favorite "Hollywood Madam." Years ago in New York City there was Xaviera Hollander, "The Happy Hooker," who ran a house. There was also Sydney Biddle Barrow, who, true to her patrician name, was found to be a direct descendant of someone who came over on the Mayflower. The family name is in the Social Register. Irresistibly, the news christened her, "The Mayflower Madam."

These are 20th century woman who ran houses like Cynthia Payne and ones I can say I read about when their activities came to light in the glare of the media. From reading about early 20th century New York City I've often come across the name Texas Guinan, a woman who ran a high-end nightclub during the roaring 20s and 30s.

Texas was not directly associated with prostitution. Her entertainment was more of the show business variety. Her nightclub acts went on for hours, with jazz, chorus girls, booze and shows. Her motto was, "an indiscretion a day keeps the Depression away."

Texas passed away after abdominal surgery for colitis in Vancouver, British Columbia in 1933. A small news obit appeared in the NYT, along with a photo of her when she came to New York as an entertainer. The liveliest piece of the obituary is in the sub-headline: "Coined Broadway Slang." Apparently, one of her famous lines was, "Hello suckers." But that's not in the obit.

Short followup news stories told of her body coming back east to Chicago and New York. She was waked in New York at Frank Campbell's, where nearly all New Yorkers of notoriety are usually waked. Twelve thousand people came to view her.

Nothing I've read compared Texas Guinan to any famous historical American woman. Granted, the United States wasn't an identifiable country until the latter part of the 18th Century. So what famous American female could she be compared to?

Betsy Ross? The DAR would storm the editor's office. Molly Pitcher? The Monmouth County heroine was nicknamed Pitcher because she brought water to the Revolutionary War troops at the Battle of Monmouth. There is a Molly Pitcher stakes race held annually at Monmouth race track.

No, we seem to lack color here. The other woman named as brother-keepers all left the business for more legal activities and have not yet left us. But not Cynthia Payne. She continued in the business until age made her go into the promotional end of the business.

She ran for Parliament for the Payne and Pleasure Party in 1988 and 1992, with a platform, "to provide light relief, to whip up support and raise funds."

It is no wonder she was compared to a legendary fighter described as "having greater intelligence than often belongs to  woman...who had a "great mass of the tawniest hair that fell to her hips..." wearing "around her neck a large golden necklace and tunic of divers [diverse] colours...fastened with a broach."

Image is always everything.

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