The Baker Brick

When Robert McG. Thomas Jr. wrote about Edward Lowe and his invention of cat litter in his seminal obituary on Mr. Lowe, Mr. Thomas moved the bar so high that few have even gotten near enough to knock it off. It has remained the sine qua non obituary of all time. An anthologized obituary.

Russell Baker did the same thing for fruitcake when he shared with the world one Sunday Christmas morning in 1983 his family's attachment to a fruitcake baked by his grandmother's great-grandfather in 1794 that was a gift for President George Washington.

Mr. Baker's clan originates in Virginia, so there could easily be some truth to what he wrote for publication that day. Or, as might be suspected, he concocted a tall tale that our nation's first president would have no part of repeating. Quite honestly Scarlett, we don't give a damn, because why would you let facts get in the way of a great story?

What we have in Mr. Baker's essay is his eternal observation that fruitcake can outlive anything. And if he might have had his tongue firmly planted in his cheek when he wrote the piece, it would only be because he sampled a piece of the fruitcake as an annual rite of passage and his tongue became Gorilla Glued to the inside of his cheek. It will happen.

Stories about fruitcake generally rise up in December when the Christmas gift-giving season gets underway. This time, the subject of fruitcake is getting resuscitated by taking in a Tweet from @JustJenKing, a digital producer/journalist for an Australian news show who also has an affinity for all things connected to WWI and Australia's part in it.

Thus, we have reference to a "97-year-old-cake included in Australian War Memorial collection depicts a slice of post-war life." Twenty-first century headline writers can't resist puns either.

A link to the story is provided, but basically it shows complete ignorance of the Baker heirloom. This Australian cake was apparently "baked to mark the homecoming of Moss Valentine Brasington, a labourer from Bombala in New South Wales who returned to Australia after three years of service in the 27th Battalion of the Australian Imperial force." The cake is still wrapped, which proves that even the happiness of being home after three years at war can't overpower the urge to leave the fruitcake alone. Conquering the enemy was one thing: conquering jellied, nutty cake is another. A museum official, Ms. Rutherford, said, "it was unusual to see food still intact after so long."

This just goes to show you how far away Australia really is from the United States. They hadn't heard of the Baker Brick. But all fruitcakes are not found in the Building Supply aisle of your grocer.

This is absolutely true. There is an order of Eastern Orthodox nuns in Cambridge, New York who make a thoroughly edible fruitcake (and cheesecake). Both have been eaten in this household over the years and any order you make for a fruitcake will guarantee that it will be consumed before the next United States president is sworn in.

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