There is an absolutely hilarious self-written obituary that @obitsman has pointed out to the world via Twitter.The deceased describes his life in the most affectionate and glowing of terms that basically distill down to war hero and major league skirt chaser. To listen to himself, his skirt chasing was so successful he disputably helped increase the world's out-of-wedlock population and probably lead to some confusion as to last names when it came time to register kids for school.
No problem. It certainly didn't seem to shorten John E. Holden's life. Since Mr. Holden wrote his own obituary several years before his demise, we are spared a cause of death. Apparently he was in good health when he wrote about himself and didn't have that final detail.
We also don't know his exact age. His date of birth is omitted, but his date of death is given as May 27, 2013, perhaps fittingly, since that was when Memorial Day was celebrated this year, and Mr. Holden was a decorated Marine fighter pilot in WWII.
The date of death must have been filled in by someone, unless Mr. Holden ceased breathing in front of a computer after typing the date in himself. Given that he was a pilot in 1945, he'd have to have been in his upper 80s at his demise.
He describes his own life as "filled with endless laughter and debauchery." Given his stated membership in the Lancaster Country Club and the Hamilton Club I like to think that Jack made his way across Lancaster County running through adjacent yards and jumping into swimming pools and seducing sunbathing women. He certainly couldn't cram all the details into his own obit.
But it's his last words that are the showstopper: "I'm going to miss myself."
Who could have had a fuller life?
http://www.onofframp.blogspot.com
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