Non-Denominational Forever

I still pay my bills by paper, using checks, envelopes and stamps. I'm sure this makes me a Luddite in some eyes, but I don't care. I know there are online ways to do the chore of paying bills, but I purposely choose not to do it that way. My reasons are good, at least to me, and I'll keep them to myself right now.

As mentioned, I need stamps to do what I do. The United States Postal Service at some point introduced the Forever stamp. It is a non-denominational stamp, good for a first class postage delivery weighing up to one ounce, I believe. Perfect for bills.

I used to collect stamps as a kid, and the thought that there could some day be a non-denominational stamp was beyond anyone's imagination. Then, non-denominational to me meant there could be a religious gathering where the pastor was allowed to wear a regular necktie with a suit that looks like dad's. I didn't know anyone who was non-denominational.

But now of course my postage is. It's a great convenience. You can buy stamps at the current rate, and then continue to use them, even if the rates have gone up, by one cent, or several. When the Forever stamp concept was introduced I distinctly remember reading a financial advice Q&A where the question was would it be wise to sink significant money into Forever stamps, then wait for the rate to go up, then sell them at the profit that was the spread. 

Sounds stupid, but on a percentage basis, it could fly. The answer was that it wouldn't be wise, or worth it to invest so much money into a vehicle that basically wasn't going to keep up with, or exceed inflation, even as low as it is. Postal rate increases are not pre-ordained, and they could be so small, and potentially so far apart, that Forever stamps would not make a good investment vehicle.

To me, this was good. China was not going to buy all our stamps and leave me with no way to pay my bills, thereby leaving me badly in arrears and without power.

And speaking of power, my utility company, LIPA, used to provide a postage-free envelope to mail the check.  This was always a treat. Everyone else in the stack got a stamp, but that one was a free ride.

Of course, with Forever stamps being non-denominational, I usually forgot what the value of my benefit was. Was it 41 cents, 43 cents, 45 cents? Perhaps this played into LIPA's thinking when they discontinued providing a pre-paid postage envelope and got like everyone else that provided an envelope that told me where to stick it. The stamp.

The mere mention of LIPA to anyone in my surroundings will likely induce a tirade of complaint, usually profane, and loud. The prolonged outages after recent storms has been difficult to deal with.

After the last storm, Sandy, there were changes at LIPA, and perhaps an infusion of funds from somewhere, and they started clearing branches from wires.  In the 20+ years I've lived in their domain, I can only remember one maintenance cleanup, and that was soon after we moved in.

In that time I replaced a diseased dogwood tree with a Callery pear tree at a corner of the backyard. The wires for everyone's power run overhead along the  backyard property lines. After the last storm, LIPA got busy and sub-contracted an extensive removal of branches that looked like they could pose a danger to pulling the power lines down in a storm.

They did a good deal of work in my area, and personally, our lovely Callery pear tree was trimmed enough to leaving it looking like a upside down Hershey Kiss without the aluminum foil. I complained not a bit. If my pear tree could pose a danger to power lines (which I really didn't see, given the thinness of the branches), then so be it.

Hard to say there's proof here, but several strong windy storms, after Sandy and after the pruning campaign, did not cause us to lose power

April is when the Callery pear trees blossoms, and I miss seeing its graceful elliptical shape. I also miss LIPA's pre-paid postage envelopes.

I remember a poem, 'Never Was I Born To Set Them Right,' that Ogden Nash wrote, I think shortly before he died, that appeared in The New Yorker. The poem lists many gripes that are made to rhyme. Nash closes with a complaint to the IRS that they don't provide a postage-free envelope, and that after he drains his bank account to pay his taxes, couldn't they at least "blow me to nickel's worth of postage."

I feel the same way about LIPA at this point. Since I'm now faced with a severely truncated Callery pear tree that looks like a top on its tip, but is not spinning, can't they at least provide me with a pre-paid postage envelope?

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