The Tractable Apostrophe

In yesterday's NYT, Mr. Clyde Haberman riffs on the punctuation misuse that annually becomes apparent when Presidents' Day rolls around. It's a well-written piece that is informative and earnestly written, making good use of its tongue and cheek. You do have to be probably minimally 40 years old at today's sunrise, or the product of very expensive education (attendance required) to appreciate and even understand what Mr. Haberman is talking about. Then, you will at least understand and enjoy it. If you bought or read Lynne Truss's book 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves' you probably already read the piece.

I share Mr. Haberman's frustration and surely wonderment at how the apostrophe gets so misused. His is the reporter's reaction. He's pointing out what he sees. He points out the strengths of other's reactions when he quotes Ms. Truss as to what she'd like to do to people who misuse the elevated comma. It is not pretty. It is certainly not legal.

I for one, when confronted with an apostrophe quandary, will duck the issue. Write around it. It's something that doesn't seem to be offered by Ms. Truss. She makes a great fuss over how to punctuate Two Weeks Notice when you could really write Two Week Notice and not lose a thing. But overall, both Ms. Truss and Mr. Haberman highlight the confusion.

Ten years ago I wrote to Mr. Russell Baker about what I was then seeing as a noticeable trend in the paper of his former employer to smashing what were once hyphenated words into a single word. The style is still in effect to turn once hyphenated words into newly minted compound words.

Mr. Baker replied that he gave up on "hyphen idiocy" years ago and that he felt "you can be excused for shooting on sight without asking questions" when offended.

Grammarians have decidedly strong reactions to the misuse of punctuation. Thankfully, they're really kidding, and using their way with words to convey frustration. Extreme frustration.

Even without consistent gun control and weapon laws it's good to know that unhinged rage is not let loose at a book store on Presidents' Day, even given the paucity of bookstores and the fact that the carnage count would likely be reasonably low. Tolerance (smugness?) is in order. It keeps you out of the hands of the authorities and able to buy, or logon to a newspaper the following day. Or even write for one.

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