Letters in the Attic

The still-at-home offspring has turned into a triathlete. This leaves the counter and drain board with several types of empty bottles, each covered by their own recycling regulation.

Since New York state has recently expanded its definition of what a "returnable" is, different water products are now under the 5 cent bottle bill. When the recycling effort effort started years ago it was only drinks that had carbonation that were defined as refundable. This notably left Yogi Berra's Yoo-Hoo off the recycling list. It's a chocolate flavored drink and not carbonated. It never made any grocery list in our house.

I'm old enough to remember that in the 50s there was a two cent deposit on 12 ounce soda and beer. Bigger bottles of Coke (family size) were tagged at 5 cents for some reason. As kids, it was rare when someone excavated a 5 cent empty coke bottle from the trash at the school yard. Whoever achieved finding one of those was right up there with getting a decent Yankee in their bubble gum package.

I try and comply with local laws. This even extends to recycling. So when I'm confronted with the variety of what's left to take to the garage or the side of the house I have to read the labels for some of the products.

I was surprised to learn that Gatorade Perform, an Electrolytes + Carbs [21g] concoction (Rain Berry, natural flavor) does not have a NY return value. It does however have a return value in 'CA CRV ME, HI 5 cents'. Okay, that one's for the side of the house, but where the hell is CRV? It's not one of the 50 states, they all only use two initials these days. (When they didn't is another story.)

The Internet is the great leveler these days. And http://www.acronymfinder.com/ is a great site for learning what ACH stands for on your bank statements and what CRV might mean.

Twenty-two possibilities are first painted on the screen. Nothing really to do with geography, but one is Crew Return Vehicle (NASA). CRV, typical NASA abbreviation for something we would call the Space Shuttle. But then again, CRV is probably better than SS. Too many bad associations with that one.

So, the space shuttle has a bottle return policy? Alert the media. I never thought of the space shuttle as being a geographic entity. It makes me wonder if the Vatican has a return policy on wine bottles.

It can't be. Wally Schirra umpteen years ago became a sponsor for Tang, the powdered orange drink that the "astronauts use." So, Gatorade associated with the space program is not too much of a stretch, but how do you take the bottle back to the CRV? You'd definitely need a pass for that.

At the bottom the Acronymfinder page is the link that there are 75 more definitions stored "in the attic." More like it.

Got closer, and slightly more plausible. 'California Refund Value.' But it already says CA for California, so why the CRV? You can take it to a pawn shop?

When I explained all this to my friend who comes over on Saturday mornings before heading to OTB he pointed out that the Gatorade bottle is oddly punctuated. The only comma is after the ME, which of course means Maine. So, why does it go CA CRV ME, HI?

He's very good at spotting these things because he was once in journalism. It also helps him understand the absolute odd symbols they use in Past Performances when you're trying to handicap races. Knowing that the last race was over an inner track surface and today's is on the outer track surface can mean cashing or tearing up tickets. Knowledge is a great thing.

And knowing whether I go to the garage or the side of the house is helpful too.

http://www.onofframp.blogspot.com/