The Buddy List

How nice to be someone's buddy.

And when you're the buddy of JFK and pass away at 91, as Paul B. Fay recently did, you get quite a two column send-off, complete with cropped picture of you and JFK.

Mr. Fay apparently was a great friend of JFK's. They came from similar family backgrounds, went through basic training and PT boat training in the Navy, and served in similar waters in World War II. So, when all those things coincide and you are shot at by a common enemy and have your boats sunk by the Japanese, you share a lifetime of memories.

Paul was an usher at JFK's wedding. Certainly an admission to an inner circle. He was appointed as an under secretary of the Navy, despite Robert Strange McNamara's objections. Their families vacationed together on the Cape. But most importantly, he was a friend, and made JFK laugh.

JFK said that when you're president, it's hard to make new friends, so he was going to keep the old ones.

My father had a friend like that. They grew up together on New York's midtown east side, were mentored at the 29th Street Boys' Club together, became camp counselors, went into the Army together, (Joe a CO and a medic) and remained in touch until death. My father never really liked the Catholic religion because not being Catholic prevented him from being Joe's best man. He held a bit of a lifelong grudge at organized religion.

So Paul Fay was like a lot of guys; he was someone's buddy. I've often said, the best we can hope for is to be remembered affectionately, and it seems Paul was.

And as for being a president's buddy, that's even better. And it seems rarer. Someone said that if you're president and want a friend, get a dog. Didn't Bill Clinton have a dog named Buddy?

Someone I know at work whose word I trust told me the story just the other day of the time he encountered Richard Nixon walking his dog outside his home in Saddle River, New Jersey.

This was of course after the presidency, and was likely about 20+ years ago, or so. It seems from taking driving lessons in the area, the instructor pointed out that Nixon lived at the end of a long street that became a cul de sac.

One day, after attaining his license and driving through the area again, he and his buddies spotted Nixon walking his dog, accompanied by two Secret Service men. They rummaged around for autograph material and the only thing my co-worker could come up with was his acceptance letter for college. They approached Nixon, and the Secret Service closed ranks. But Nixon sort of waved off the guard, and they wound up spending half an hour walking with the former president, talking about school, and football.

He said when he tells the story people always ask him why didn't he mention Watergate to the former president? He didn't, but probably because when you're in between your high school senior year and going to college, and the country hasn't fallen apart, Watergate might well be the furthest thing from your mind. It certainly was for him and his buddies.

My co-worker did add that Nixon's mind was sharp, but he seemed lonely. Probably was. He was out with his buddy and it was only a dog.

Note: The picture above is of the headstone of Nixon's somewhat famous dog Checkers. Checkers is buried in an animal cemetery in the town where I live in Nassau county. How this came to happen is entirely beyond me, but Checkers is listed in the Notable Residents section in the Wikipedia recap.

And why not? He was a buddy.

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