Friday, October 30, 2020

Dad, I'm Home

It is probably safe to say Belgium doesn't get etched in anyone's consciousness for long. Maybe when having a breakfast of Belgian waffles, or quaffing down some Belgium beer, but face it, the country hardly blips our radar. At least not until you read in Wednesday's NYT of October 28 a dispatch from I'll guess the Times's Belgium bureau chief, Megan Specia, that Delphine of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is finally being recognized as being the daughter of King Albert II, the 86 year-old former reigning Belgium monarch. Dad, I'm home. Fine, your room's a mess.  

King Albert II has apparently been denying for decades that Delphine is the love child of his longstanding relationship with Delphine's mother, Baroness Sybille de Selys Longchamps. Delphine is now 52, and sought for years the right to be recognized as the daughter of the King, and with it the right to use the royal title Princess Delphine. Additionally, the princess's two children are entitled to be referred as prince and princess of Belgium.

Princess Delphine has always claimed the quest has never been about money, but rather simple public recognition that she's the King's daughter. And although money is not openly talked about, the newly recognized Princess Delphine is entitled to one-quarter of the King's estate on his demise, sharing in equal parts with his other three children with Queen Paola.

Imagine the congestion at the checkout counters in Belgium grocery stores when all the news of who is a prince and princess hit the Belgium tabloids, for assuredly there have to be tabloids in Belgium with that much royalty floating around. Even express lines ground to a halt.

King Albert II abdicated the throne in 2013, and when he did he lost the protection of immunity against Delphine's lawsuit. He had to give in and provide a DNA sample which proved conclusively that Delphine was everything she said she was, and that he fathered her with the Baroness, significantly out of wedlock.

After the legal dust settled, imagine the royal, European civility in the above photo where the newly recognized princess is seen with her father King Albert II and his wife Queen Paola, 83, getting to know each other further in person. Missing from the photo is Delphine's mother, the Baroness, the King's mistress, who is still with us at 79. She splits her time between Belgium and Provence.

The Christmas gift giving list just got larger.

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Sunday, October 25, 2020

Say Cheese

My feet used to stink. Or maybe it was my socks. Perhaps it was both, unable to assign singular blame. The point is now, they no longer stink. My feet, or my socks. And therefore my shoes don't stink when I take them off my feet. I'm odor free from the ankles down. How many people can make that claim these days?

I was reminded of my smelly lowest extremities when I read the WSJ book review titled 'Olfactory Bliss,' by Sam Kean that is a review of Harold McGee's latest called 'Nose Dive.' If you were wondering if is possible to write 654 pages on describing smells of all kinds, Mr. McGee's book answers that in the affirmative. 

There is a passage in the review where Mr. Klein gives us an example of Mr. McGee's attempt to put in words the smell of smelly socks: "discarded skin proteins, foot bacteria and sweat inside your socks essentially recapitulate the transformation of milk and brine into prized aromatic cheeses."

When I used to take my shoes off I always  (and others) always thought my feet smelled of Limburger, or at least Gorgonzola cheese.

I'm not nose blind. There is no longer a need to spray the surrounding air with Dr. Scholl's foot deodorizer. The money not spent has been incalculable. I don't know why my feet, socks and shoes no longer stink. My personal washing habits haven't changed for the better or worse in the past several decades. I just stink less.

The odors from socks and shoes are certainly not the only smells that Mr. McGee tackles. Mr. Klein tells us the smell tour starts in outer space when Mr. McGee describes the smell from an interstellar dust cloud. I guess we'll have to read the book to find out how Mr. McGee has been able to tells us the smell is akin to "whiffs of smelling salts, camp-stove fuel, vinegar, eggs and fruit."  Who knew?

And just in case you're booked on one of those space flights and they leave the window open, you can expect asteroids to be "redolent of sweat, almonds, fish and honey." If that's too overpowering, maybe someone will close the window on their side. (If you ask nicely.)

Nowhere in the book review is there any discussion of perfumes, although there certainly might be massive amounts of text on them in the 654 pages. I would certainly hope so, otherwise it would be a MAJOR omission.

The world just wouldn't be the same if the smells from the perfume selling floors of major department stores were left out. I'd hate to think there might be an omission of the description of the spritz that is guaranteed to get you laid 

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Tuesday, October 20, 2020

You're Sitting on Your Future

I have read many obituaries. But I really don't believe I've read one of someone who had as many varied occupations as the mother of Sylvester Stallone, Jackie, who has passed away at 98, but not before becoming a circus aerialist, chorus girl, wrestling promoter and gym owner, before her final and ultimate occupation as an astrologer who saw your future in the folds of your buttocks. Don't just sit there. Drop your drawers and stand in front of a mirror. Her analysis was $300 per cheek. Rumpology.

Jackie Stallone really did run away and join the circus, at 15, rather than stick around the house and fulfill her lawyer father's dream of her becoming a lawyer. Forsaking further education and law school of course eliminated her from being a circus aerialist—which she was with the Flying Wallendas—and being present when accidents actually occurred. What better spot to be in than being a lawyer when someone missed the net. Oh well.

Reading of her life gives you insight into why her son Sylvester is as obsessed with fitness as he is. Growing up, the famous bodybuilder Charles Atlas lived with her family. Gymnastics, weight lifting and jogging were on the bulletin board of daily things to do.

Perhaps it was as a celebrity astrologer that she gained the most fame. She had already operated gyms, had her own TV exercise  shows and promoted women's wrestling before she found her true calling as an astrologer.

Apparently at one point she was famous enough at a gathering that the obituarist, Julia Carmel, tells us the society columnist for the New York Times, Bob Morris, commented that she worked the room spinning out predictions "like food from a lidless Cuisinart."

It's a great metaphor. Imagine getting splattered with a prediction that was an imaginary pureed radish. Who got the carrot splat?

Perhaps understandably, a woman as kinetic as Jackie had three husbands, survived by one of them. She also leaves two sons, Frank and Sylvester, a sister, six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. If my father had ever met her, I'm sure he would have said "she was quite a gal."

We'll never know which of her buttock dimples, folds or crevices predicted the life she had. Would a prediction vary if you were standing up vs. laying down?

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Friday, October 9, 2020

A Trilogy

When people say "death come in threes" they usually mean three celebrities kicking off at about the same time, usually a day or two apart. No one ever expects it to mean three bylined obituaries from one reporter for subjects that are all over 90 years of age and total 280 years of living.

But that is exactly what happened yesterday when three of the four bylined obituaries in the NYT are by Robert D. McFadden for a 91 year-old upstate New York politician Joseph L. Bruno, whose name might grace more Little League fields and parks than any other politician in New York and for Mark Andrews, 94, a farmer and North Dakota Politician and for the Lyon Gardiner Tyler Jr., grandson of 10th president of the United States, John Tyler of "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" fame and whose younger brother, Harrison Ruffin Tyler is still with us at 91. Yes, the grandson of an 19th-century president commemorated on a $1 coin was with us on September 26 and whose slightly younger brother can still have one of those coins in his pocket and pay for something.

If you've been anywhere in the Albany/Saratoga area of New York State you've probably bumped into the name Joseph L. Bruno adorning a statue or a fence surrounding a Little League field. Joe Bruno, was a career politician for nearly 32 years, serving as a state senator, senate majority leader, and even acting lieutenant governor from 1977 to 2008.

In a complicated series of trials and appeals, Mr. Brno eventually had a fraud conviction overturned by a federal court in Albany in 2014, ending a near 10-year legal battle that allowed him to finally retire permanently to his farm.

The second of the three McFadden obits is for Mark Andrews, 94, a farmer and long-time North Dakota politician who served as a Congressman and U.S. Senator for 23 years. His legislative priorities were always about farming.

His father was also a farmer, having been born in 1886 on the family spread started by his father in 1881, when North Dakota was a territory. (1881 is one of those Mad Magazine years that is the same backwards as well as upside down. Can you name the one in the 20th-century?)

Mark's father, also named Mark, was also a sheriff who happened to be able to sing opera arias and did so in concerts in Fargo and New York, while also in his campaign for Cass County sheriff. Mark Jr. admitted to no singing ability and said he couldn't carry a tune in a bushel. He did however carry votes by the bushel when he won his senate seat with 70 percent of the votes in 1980, outpolling Ronald Reagan in the state.

The third of the three obits is last but certainly not least, when it tells us that Lyon Gardiner Tyler Jr. the grandson of the 10th president of the United States John Tyler has recently passed away at 95 and that one of his survivors is his brother Harrison, another, but slightly younger grandson of John Tyler who is 91.

John Tyler, the 10th president of the United States, 1841-1845, had 15 children with two wives, the second of whom was 24 when he married her at 54. His presidency was notable for a few things, chiefly the annexation of Texas as the 28th state. This was important for several things, but mainly because it gave his family a place to live. 

The reach back in time through only three generations astoundingly connects a man who has just passed away with a grandfather who was born just after George Washington became president 231 years ago. Talk about being able to drop the name of the fellow who is on the one dollar bill.

The Tyler connection is a function of extreme longevity and late in life parenting, even if having children with a second wife who is 24-years-old might seem like something anyone can accomplish. Lyon's father Lyon Gardiner Sr. was 82 when he passed away in 1935. His father John Tyler, the president, lived the shortest amount of time, passing away at 71 in 1862.

Having a father who was a president's son seems to have worked in Lyon's favor, because he graduated from William and Mary College after his father was president of William and Mary from 1888 to 1919. Talk about a legacy admission. 

Lyon Tyler Jr. told the Daughters of the American Revolution that his grandfather President Tyler always cared deeply about his children and the truth. In a letter to his son John Jr. in 1832 he said "truth should always be uttered no matter what the consequences."

It is doubtful anyone lied about their age in that family.


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Thursday, October 8, 2020

Halloween Party


Forget the sight of the amputated right foot. This is a photo of young woman showing up at a Halloween Party as a one-night stand.

I have no idea what the other guests dressed as, but she should have taken home a prize, if not a companion.


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Sunday, October 4, 2020

Daredevil

It was an uncharacteristic evening call from one of The Assembled, Bobby G. The phone call was received about 8:40. I took it.

We discussed the day's races. First, Bobby G's friend's horse Step Dancer had competed in the 6th Race at Belmont in the Pilgrim Stakes, an open race on the turf at 11/16. Step Dancer, owned by Hayward R. Pressman (Richie), previously ran for the first time in a 11/16 turf maiden special weight race at Belmont on September 4, winning going away, coming from out of the clouds like lightening at 24-1.

Due to a colossal communication error I didn't know Step Dancer was running that day. Thus I had bupkus on the horse. Only several hours after that race did Bobby G. call and was surprised to hear I didn't have the horse on my Watch list. There is some news you just don't want to hear.

Thinking I was always on top of these things, Bobby G. didn't call or email prior to that race that Step Dancer was running that day. Bobby G. collected, but like any person who bets on a winning horse, he didn't have enough on the horse because of an anemic telephone betting account balance that was at a level just high enough to buy a large pizza with mushrooms. 

Richie on the other hand did quite well and walked into an IRS exacta many times over that he was only too happy to collect after informing them of his social security number.

Getting my Watch list up-to-date I knew of Step Dancer's entry yesterday. As of course did Bobby G. and naturally Richie. The win was not to be repeated. Step Dancer ran well enough, finishing third a neck in front of the fourth place finisher, but a decisive four lengths back of the longshot winner Fire At Will. The odds-on-favorite, trained by Chad Brown, finished second. 

Bobby G's unusual across-the-board bet saved his bacon a bit, but didn't result in making any money on the race.

The results of the Preakness run later in the day cemented everyone's shutout. The filly Swiss Skydiver pulled off a significant upset at nearly 12-1, becoming the 6th filly to win the Preakness. Joe Drape has that story

But horse racing stories are never over until the next race. And the story that doesn't appear in the paper is the one you provide on your own.

I forget who said it on the NBC telecast, but it was mentioned that Peter Callahan, the owner of Swiss Skydiver, gave the horse their name at birth when he got the alarming news from one of his granddaughters that she had been skydiving in Switzerland—successfully. Blended with the sire's name of Daredevil, Swiss Skydiver seemed like a name you could attach to the horse no matter what your grandkid had done.

I asked Bobby G. if he heard the story on the telecast and did he have any grandkids who had done some something just as worrying. He had.

One of his grandsons went skydiving somewhere on Long Island years ago. The usual "are-you-crazy" reaction eventually subsided, and they apparently only did it the one time—successfully.

Since my own grandkids are not yet old enough to legally sign any kind of waiver, I shared a story about my daughter Susan eventually confessing she had bungee jumped in Cancún with some girlfriends years ago—successfully. She admitted she didn't like it one bit, and would not look forward to ever doing it again. There is a God. 

This is the same girl who a few years before that told us of a leap off a 10-meter diving platform. She's an excellent competitive swimmer and former Jones Beach ocean lifeguard, but platform diving, or even jumping, was not supposed to be in her wheelhouse. Apparently she only did it once. Thank God.

Owning or breeding horses is not in my future. Thus I won't get the chance to breed a mare to Daredevil and name if after my daughter, say Bungee Jumper. I'll settle for my usual ways of wining and losing at the races.

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Thursday, October 1, 2020

The Silent Season of a Sports Hero

In between starting another book which has not yet been selected or even purchased, I reached for a collection of sport essays by Gay Talese, a writer who at a sartorially bespoke 88, is still with us. Whether Mr. Talese and Roger Angell, at 100, meet at P.J. Clarke's and reminiscence about the early days of the 20th century, I don't know. They certainly could.

I remember Mr. Talese's byline a bit when I was reading the NYT as a kid in the back of the flower shop in the '60s. A friend's mother gave me 'The Kingdom and the Power' as a Christmas present, knowing I was soaking up newspapers.  How I didn't come to work for one is one of my favorite stories. 

The high school guidance counselor I saw after dropping out of my second college enrollment sent me to United Medical Service for a job interview. UMS was the corporate name for Blue Shield, then a small company detached from Blue Cross at 2 Park Avenue. There I started at I think $90 a week, and remained for 36 years, until I left for another company. My progression through that employment and all the iterations the company took financed my life. 

If Mrs. Bittkower had sent me to the NYT I might have been one of those stories about someone who  started as a copy boy. My guess is that I wouldn't have been fired for drinking from there, once all I ever read was that was what newsmen did: drink. I would have been right at home.

Anyway, I love linkages, handshakes if you will, of people who knew other people who go so far back in time that before you know it, you're reading about someone who knew of someone, say Lincoln.

It's like the time I met a fellow at Belmont in the '70s who saw Man of War run, the legendary thoroughbred who lost only one race out of 21 starts, to a horse named Upset at Saratoga in 1919 in the Sanford Stakes (still being run) when Man o' War was 55¢ to the dollar and Upset was 100-1, during what were the "hand book" days off oddsmaking prior to parimutel betting.

If I attain another near decade of life I can be the fellow at Belmont who has no none to tell other then the people who accompanied me to the races about the legendary Dr. Fager who won the 1968 Vosburgh Handicap at Aqueduct carrying 139 pounds while setting a 7 furlong track record that stood for decades in 1:201/5. No horse carries 139 pounds these days. And almost no one runs that fast. Dr. Fager was Babe Ruth.

The 1968 Vosburgh has already drifted so far back in the rear view mirror that when they ran this year's race the broadcasters recounted memorable ones that included Forego in the early '70s. Fager wasn't mentioned. His performance is outside their collective memories, or their pre-broadcast summary sheets.

But getting back to Mr. Tales, anyone can read something from someone's writing of 1958, but what makes it special is that Mr. Tales is still with us, and I'm sure would remember his story on Billy Ray, 93, the last of the bare-knuckle fighters.

The November 23rd essay is no obituary, but a short piece written upon interviewing Mr.. Ray for what I'll guess was a NYT story. Mr. Ray and Mr. Tales do not remember the same presidents, in as much as Mr. Ray was born in 1865 and fought when Benjamin Harrison was president.

Thus, in 2020, the man who wrote in 1958 about someone fighting in 1889 is still with us. A man who was born when Andrew Johnson was president, and the assassination of Lincoln was still fresh news. That is some link back to the past.

Aside from finding the NYT piece Mr. Talese wrote about Billy Ray, complete with four small photos as if taken from a photo booth of what he looked like in 1958, the was a Google link to a piece Clarence George wrote on March 17, 2015 for 'Boxing.com' that reprises Billy's career with many references to Mr. Talese's 1958 piece and a few to A.J. Liebling who wrote of meeting Mr. Ray in 1955 and described him as:

"the shortly-to-be nonagenarian wore no glasses. his hands were shapley, his forearms hard, and every hair looked as if, in the old water-front phrase, it had been drove in with a nail."

Mr. George opens his piece about how he's lead to read about Billy Ray. Like me he's searching for something to read and picks up A.J. Liebling's "Sweet Science' and comes across the story of Billy Ray. This leads Mr. George to Gay Talese. It's never too late to read good writing.

Through one of my favorite Errol Flynn movies, 'Gentleman Jim' you get the story of James J. Corbett fighting John L. Lewis, the famous heavyweight bare knuckle champion, under the Marquess of Queensberry rules, using boxing gloves. End of an era. Spoiler alert: Corbett wins.

In Bayside Queens there is a plaque commemorating Corbett, who retired to a section of Queens near the waterfront where many actors lived, Corbett loving to be associated with them. The Queen Anne style home is still there, and the street is named Corbett Road. In the early '60s my friend and used to go through that area and I seem to remember a status of Corbett being on Corbett Road. Perhaps it was removed. The plaque dates from 1971.


Billy Ray attributed his longevity to street fighting and women. Not many people would give credit to the company of women that he loved so much he was apparently married seven times. That's affection.

I always knew about the bare knuckle era, but didn't know it extended all the way down to Mr. Ray's weight class of 122 pounds. Rounds in that style of fighting were not measured in three minute intervals, but rather whatever went on in between fighting and getting knocked down. The round ended when someone hit the deck and was not counted out. Tired fighter would purposely fling themselves to the canvas in order to end a round. That's why you had fights that went way up into the upper double digits.

Billy Ray apparently owned as many as 15 bars, mostly in Brooklyn, and held court in all of them with this ring stories. 

Mr. Talese's piece is not very long. At the end we learn that in his 9th decade Billy is living with his sister and her husband at 130 Ashford Street in Brooklyn.

Google Earth shows a row of homes at that address that could easily have been there in the 1950s. This is the Cypress Hills section of Brooklyn, hard by the Jamica El and the Queens border, near Cypress Hills cemetery and Brownsville, where Mike Tyson came from.

I doubt there is a plaque there for Billy, but there probably should be.

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